Things I Find Funny About Being Pregnant

This is just going to be a fun little post of randomness and a bit of venting. Enjoy!

1. That everyone who is pregnant or who has been pregnant is an expert on YOUR pregnancy. 
• You are not me, you do not have my body, you do not know the conversations I have with my own doctor. Therefore, you are not an expert on anything related to me or my pregnancy. Please, keep your advice and opinions to yourself. If you irritate me, I will tell you to go fuck yourself and to have a nice day!
2. The minute you do something "wrong" in someone else's eyes, you get an earful of shit you do not want to hear.
• I drink caffeine. I eat lunch meat without heating it. I've had pepperoni. I drink Venti nonfat lattes from Starbucks on occasion. I have had some small amounts of red wine. I sleep on my back. All of these things are "gasp-worthy" to some people and I'm still trying to figure out why. Why do you care what I do with my pregnant body? Everything I have done to this point has been cleared by my doctor. In fact, sometimes when I ask her things she looks at me like "Seriously? You believe that bullshit?" My baby and I are fine. Stop being an uppity asshole and mind your own business. 
3. Everyone tells you how AWFUL labor and delivery is and what you should do in the hospital.
• You know, growing a child, having a child, and being able to feed that child is one of the most amazing things the human body can do. I am able to grow and nurture a baby INSIDE of me. Then I am able to DELIVER that baby. Why is this such an awful process? I don't think it's going to be all fun and pain free, but I don't understand the woman that have this complete negative outlook on birth. I don't know if I want pain medication until I get to the hospital and start experiencing labor for myself. This baffles people's minds and they are like "Oh, you'll have an epidural. Just you wait." What if I don't? I also don't want Pitocin. I have made this very clear with both my doctor and my doula. I want as little hospital interventions as possible, then, if I labor for a long time and am unable to relax, I will probably choose to have an epidural to help me get some rest until the baby is ready to be here. My doula 100% supports these decisions and will help me to make informed decisions the day of L&D. 
4. We are choosing not to tell anyone about when we go to the hospital.
• This one also baffles people's minds. What is the point of getting people all excited if I am going to labor for 36 hours? Do you really want to sit in a hospital that long? No. You don't. Also, after Carson is here, guess what? I'm going to be selfish and take the time I need with him first before anyone else can see him because he is MY child. He is ANDREW'S child. I want to establish a relationship with him first and I am very entitled to do that. It will be such a special time for Andrew and I and that's all I care about. 
5. Cloth Diapers
• Why is it when I mention I am doing cloth diapers people seem to think that I've lost my mind? I know it's not going to be easy, I know there will be times I wonder to myself why I didn't just do disposable diapers, but I believe there are so many benefits to doing cloth that I am taking that responsibility head on. I have done so much research and talked to so many friends who love cloth diapering and I have faith that it is going to work out OK. I know being a new mom is hard. I understand that any free time I have will probably be spent sleeping. But guess what? I have family who loves MY little family and would be willing, in a heartbeat, to come over and wash a load of diapers for me. It's really NOT that intimidating. It will also save Andrew and I so much money. 

It just amazes me that people are so willing to condemn you or scold you when you're pregnant for things they know nothing about. I am also still on my anti-depressants and that baffles some people's minds. Do you think I'd still be taking them if my doctor told me it wasn't safe? Zoloft is a drug that has been tested NUMEROUS times to not have any bad complications for baby or mom. In fact, mother's treated with Zoloft have a better time with pregnancy and avoiding postpartum than those who go without anything. 

I am really good at letting most things slide off my back because I could give two shits what someone thinks about what I am doing. Most of the time I laugh about stuff because it is so ridiculous to me how "holier-than-thou" people get about things. 

I do not impose my opinions on other pregnant women, nor do I make them feel bad for their choices. Why can't everyone be that way?