Mid Month Update

Hello all! Where is this month going? Between all of the appointments, working, and craziness at home I'm not sure where the time goes anymore.

I don't have much to update on the debt free journey as the last set of paychecks went to living expenses. Mortgage, heat, power, water, etc. We will both get paid again this month and after paying the rest of the bills (insurance, a few medical bills), and filling the envelope with our cash, I will pay another big chunk to the debt. Woo!

I had mentioned before that I was using EveryDollar to do my budgeting, but I am an Excel junkie and made my own fantabulous spreadsheet that I am now using. It's one less thing to log in to and one less password for me to remember. I still love Every Dollar and recommend it to people just getting started with budgeting (since it's free!) but for me... I like to customize everything to my liking and my aesthetic tastes........ plus I'm addicted to Excel spreadsheets.

Dean had his check up for his tubes and there was some blood in his left ear so we are putting some drops in them to try and clear that up. He is doing amazing, though, and we have noticed such a HUGE change in his demeanor and even his personality. He's so much happier and is talking so much more!

I had my meeting with Carson's therapists at The Autism Clinic and his scores have improved dramatically in the 6 months that he has been there. Everyone at the clinic adores Carson and he is definitely a favorite. He's such a sweet and lovable boy. I'm so proud of him. When he first had his assessment he was at an 18 month level and now he's gone up to being at a 2-3 year old level. He's improving!

I have finally gotten in to see a new podiatrist about my plantar fasciitis and had an MRI done on Tuesday so that the doctor could take a look at all my tendons and muscles and recommend which type of surgery he thinks will be best! *insert happy dance gif here*
This doctor can do one of two surgeries. He can either cut the fascia completely so it can no longer pull and get tight OR he can make an incision, poke holes in the fascia and cauterize them and then make an incision in my calf and cut that muscle to loosen it up. The first surgery would require me to be in a cast for 2 weeks and I wouldn't be able to put ANY weight/pressure on my foot. The second surgery would put me in a boot for 4 weeks but I would be able to walk on it right away.... carefully. I am all for the second method of surgery since I have children and being off my foot for 3 weeks?! That'd be kind of difficult....... especially since I don't like to sit still.

My current struggles (because I said I'd be completely honest) are:

• Food. Still. I am a binge eater. A food addict. I haven't lost any weight since November.... but I also haven't gained any weight since November. I'm at a stand still. I need to focus and get my butt in gear.
• Sleep. Carson is still waking up most nights from 2am-5am. It's making both Andrew and I zombies and some days I just want to scream and cry. 
• Work. It's frustrating me right now because I'm not as happy as I once was at Hy Vee. Sometimes working in Customer Service makes you angry. Most days all I hear is "bitch bitch bitch. Me me me. Complain complain complain." and although we have some AWESOME customers, it's hard to block out all the negativity. 
• Work. In the sense that I'm not making a ton and I wish I could contribute more to our family finances. However, I am needed at home. Every week is full of appointments. There isn't a day that I don't have something to do. Except Sundays. Sundays are my saving grace. 
• Autism. Autism is hard. Autism is expensive. Carson is an amazing little person but he's not easy. Some days I lose my cool and snap at everyone around me. Imagine having a 4 year old with the developmental mentality of a 2 year old. It's. Hard. 
• Spending. I still have trouble with buying things I don't need. Am I going over my budgeted amounts? No. But I could be using the money more wisely. 

I know this wasn't a very exciting update but I promised to take you all on this journey with me so here we are. Happy Hump Day, everyone. 

8 Days Until Christmas

It freaks me out how quickly a year goes by the older I get. I've been working with my therapist on a timeline of my life and remembering the month of December as a kid is so different than it is now. I remember this month DRAGGING. One, because I couldn't wait until the 2 weeks I got off from school and two, because Christmas was always fun at our house when I was a child regardless of presents. I have a lot of very wonderful memories with my brothers. Being too excited to sleep the night before, waking up way too early and praying that mom and dad would get up so we could open the presents, the food, family (cousins, aunts and uncles)... it was all wonderful. I think that is still why I love Christmas so much even now. I have such pleasant memories and it is always a special time for me even though family has moved apart and we have gotten older. If you are more of a "Bah Humbug" about Christmas that is fine (or if you don't even celebrate it that is fine), it is just a time of year I love and it makes me very happy.
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WeightWatchers & Food:
I had the munchies BAD yesterday. It was one of those days that if there would have been tons of food around, I would have eaten it. Luckily for me, my wonderful coworker Debi brought in Christmas goodie baskets for the office staff and I was ecstatic:

FRUIT!

Being on WeightWatchers and being mindful of what I eat made this gift even more special. Debi even said that since you can never know a person's dietary preferences she figures she can't go wrong with fruit. She is 100% correct and I dug into my basket right away. I had a pear that was delicious and today I have a pear and a grapefruit. I love grapefruit but never pick it up at the store. I don't know why... it is just one of those things I never plop on my list. 

I had a bad food night last night even though I know it could have been worse. Mom and Dad were at the apartment and I just ordered pizza for us. I got myself a thin crust cheese pizza (no sauce) and mom and dad got a taco pizza. I ate 3 slices... I really could have been OK with 2.... but I counted and moved on. As is the motto of WW. 

Today's Menu:

B: Old Fashioned Oats with 1/2 T Almond Butter, HB egg, Grapefruit, Black Tea

S: Green tea, string cheese

L: Tuscan White Bean & Roasted Garlic Soup, Dark Chocolate Peppermint Bark, Pear

S: 1/2 c Red Beans and Brown Rice 

D: Spicy Buffalo Cauliflower Bites, Tilapia, PB&J Yogurt

Activity: I might try and go to the fitness center if Walter is behaving himself

I am trying the red beans and rice idea for an afternoon snack because I am always STARVING when I get off of work. I want to see if something heavier will help with that. I cooked up my beans and rice with roasted garlic, cilantro and lime juice. So good and refreshing! I love adding lime juice and cilantro to things. 

As of today I have eaten a Pescetarian Diet for 12 days and I feel fantastic. I cannot even describe how great I feel. I had Salmon on the 13th and tonight I will have tilapia and that is the only meat I will have consumed. My energy levels seem to be better and I just feel good. 

Oh! And I have discovered this blog and am IN LOVE. Hence the choice for oatmeal this morning. I need to run to the store and get a few more staple items to make some of the recipes she has. My problem with oatmeal is I always get bored with it but with her site I think that would be impossible! I cannot wait to try some of her ideas!

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I don't really have anything else to update. Things with my therapist are going great and we are uncovering a lot of things that I never dealt with as a child. I find it interesting to realize that I never talked to anyone about how I was bullied in school (for my weight) and my parents didn't even have a clue. I have been holding on to a lot of negative memories and it feels almost liberating to get everything out in the open. I am excited to continue my self discovery through my timeline and am looking forward to seeing my therapist next Monday. It is like I'm excited to dig into my past and face all of these demons once and for all. It may seem all cliché to some of you but guess what? Talking through all of this stuff with someone is amazing. I love it. 

Weigh In, New Recipe & Birchbox Goodies

Happy Monday everyone! Since I don't blog over the weekend, we are just going to backtrack by day for this entry.

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Friday:
I received my December Birchbox and I was so excited! It really is so fun opening them up to see what goodies they send.

Top Left: Number 4 Non Aerosol Hairspray
Top Right: Chuao Chocopod in Honeycomb flavor
Bottom Left: Color Club Nail Polish in Dark 'N Stormy
Botton Right: 29 Cosmetics Skincare Sampler

Top: Salt of the Earth Whipped Body Crème in Cabernet & Neroili
Bottom: Salt of the Earth Aroma Salt in White Ginger










I've used everything and LOVE everything. Would I purchase any of the products? Yes. The nail polish and the whipped body crème for sure. The skincare sampler is $175 for the entire collection so... no... it is nice, but just as a sampler. The chocolate was delicious too. If you buy the Assorted Chocopod 8-Piece Gift Set it is $9.95. It is expensive for chocolate but it is very delicious!

And here is what the nail polish looks like on:

I do like it a lot. I will get quite a few uses out of that tiny little sample bottle. I love nail polish. 

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Saturday:

We got a lot of snow/sleet on Friday night into Saturday so the morning was spent at home trying to keep warm. Andrew had 3 piano tunings he was supposed to do but 2 called off due to the amount of snow and the church wasn't until 2:00 in the afternoon so he kept that one. 

Saturday Weigh In:

Weigh In: +3.9

Total Lost: 7.6

Pounds to Lose: 93.4

Remember how the week before I had that stomach bug and lost 11.1? Yeah, I'm not surprised by this gain at all and in fact I am quite happy because I really didn't do too bad at all. Only gaining about 4 of that 11 back? I think I did pretty damn good. 

I tried a new recipe for lunch and I am in love with it and will probably make it again in the future. Of course it is from Gina's Site. This was the recipe. 

Tuscan White Bean & Roasted Garlic Soup:

Absolutely to die for delicious. Seriously. I could eat this every day and it is super filling. 

Andrew and I planned on going to Red Robin for dinner on Saturday so I was sure to save up some points for that. I did end up going in the negative (because of beer and a peppermint mocha from Starbucks) but I have already earned 5 APs for this week and just need to earn 13 more to be in the black again. 

I ended up joining Andrew for his church tuning too. 

It wasn't the best piano in the world but after he was done with it I got to play a couple of songs on it and then we left. Even though the quality of sound wasn't the best, he did do an excellent job tuning it!

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Sunday:

Lazy day. Super lazy day minus going to the fitness center and having dinner with Andrew's parents at a local pub. I was really frustrated at the fitness center because I couldn't get my foot pod to sync up with my Garmin. I finally realized the battery must be dead and sure enough as soon as I got back to the apartment and changed the battery it found the pod just fine. *sigh* Technology is a pain sometimes. I had to go by the results of the treadmill which I know aren't always accurate but it was OK. I was on there fore 36 minutes and earned 4 APs.

We watched a lot of Christmas movies this weekend which was wonderful. Andrew's work schedule is going to start getting really crazy this week so I was glad to have the two days to spend with him. We watched The original cartoon Grinch, Christmas Vacation, The Muppets Christmas Carol and Rudolph. Some of my favorites. I really love The Muppets Christmas Carol. I used to watch that one a lot when I was younger. I'm just sad that certain versions of that movie cut out the "When Love is Gone" scene. I like that song but understand that children grew restless during it so they cut it out of some versions. The version we have doesn't have it. Sad face. 

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Well, that was all the excitment from my weekend. I hope you all had a wonderful weekend!

And so does Walter:

He's getting SO BIG

Why Have I Never Roasted Garlic Before?

Seriously!? As much as I like to cook and try new things it baffles my mind that I have never in my life roasted garlic. I found a soup recipe that I want to try and it calls for roasted garlic. Well, the way that Gina does it requires taking apart the garlic before roasting it and I hate working with garlic. So, I found this page that gave a really simple way to roast garlic. Basically idiot proof.

It is so good and the garlic is so soft. I have a ton of it now and plan on using it for multiple things. Especially in pasta. YUM. 

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New Recipe:

Last night I made this recipe of Chicken and Lentil Soup. I did not put chicken in it though and rebuilt it in my WW recipe builder and it is 4P+ a serving. 

I've always wanted to make lentil soup and finally had my chance. It smelled SO good and tasted just as wonderful. The cilantro really adds something special to this soup. Because of Gina's site I have been using cilantro in things I never thought to before and have been pleasantly surprised by how good things can be with it. 

Now, the reason I didn't add chicken was because ever since being sick the thought of meat makes me ill. If you put a piece of chicken in front of me right now and asked me to eat it I would probably dry heave or puke. No joke. I was talking to Anna yesterday about her dietary preferences because I know she doesn't eat meat, except for fish, and she explained that she is a Pescetarian. Basically the definition is: "Pescetarianism is the practice of a diet that includes seafood, but not the flesh of other animals. A pescetarian diet typically shares many of its components with a lacto-ovo vegetarian diet and includes vegetables, fruit, nuts, grains, beans, eggs, dairy, and insect byproducts (such as honey, carmine, orshellac), but unlike a vegetarian diet it also includes fish and shellfish." (Wikipedia) It can also be spelled Pescatarian. 

I am thinking I want to kind of adopt this way of eating just because of how I'm feeling right now towards any other meat. It is easy enough to make recipes meatless these days and also, I still love fish and want to be able to enjoy that from time to time. Luckily for me my husband isn't a huge meat eater either so it will be easy to adjust to the changes. Plus, my grocery trip last night was cheaper that usual because of my lack of purchasing meat products. The only thing Andrew really won't give up is bacon. Haha. He loves his morning bacon on the weekends. 

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WeightWatchers & Stuff:

Things are still going OK. I think I am in the negative a little bit though due to my peppermint candy obsession. I need to scale back on that a little bit. 

Today's Menu:

B: 3 HB Eggs, 1 c FF milk, coffee

S: String Cheese

L: Lentil Soup, Spicy Black Bean burger on a light english muffin, WW mini bar

S: 6 oz Chobani yogurt, 1 T PB and 1 T Jelly mixed in

D: 5 oz Salmon and broccoli

Activity: Nothing

Springfield, IL is in a winter advisory for this evening going into tomorrow and I feel like it is the type of night to cuddle up on the couch with my husband and the dogs and just enjoy the warmth of the apartment. 

Tomorrow is my meeting/weigh in day. I always say I am going to sleep in on the weekends and go to the 9:00 meeting but my body hates me and is usually awake by 7:00 so I just go to the 7:30 meeting. I don't know what to expect. I had my 11.1 pound loss from the previous week after being ill but I don't count that as a serious loss because it wasn't. It was a fluke of me being ill. Bascially I want to go off of the weigh in before last weeks to judge my actual loss/gain. 

I guess we will see! 

Obsessed with Peppermint

I think I have a problem. I am ridiculously obsessed with peppermint. I had posted about my Philosophy Peppermint Stick body wash and lip gloss in this post. It is the most amazing product ever and each time I fill my loufa with that soap I am in heaven. I also purchased Chapstick that is called candy cane. It is wonderful. I love chapsticks and balms that make my lips tingle when I first put it on and the candy cane one does just that. (So does the Sweet Mint eos balm. YUM.) I also discovered this candle from Avon that smells so amazing I had to buy 3 more of them. They also have a peppermint bubble bath I am trying so hard not to buy since I already have a collection of Avon bubbles.

As you all know I signed up for Birchbox  and received my first box. The second one is on its way and I am very excited about it! However, after I received my first box I got an email from Birchbox saying that they were sorry for what was in my first box. They said that there were items in there that didn't fit the beauty profile that I filled out and they gave me a $10 gift certificate to buy something in the store. I found that to be very strange considering I loved everything in the box but was also really impressed with their customer service and willingness to fix an issue I didn't even complain about! I used that $10 certificate to purchase some Peppermint Bark. I received it yesterday but didn't get into it until I got home because my stomach has still been wonky.

I think it is some of the best peppermint bark I have ever had. I took the smallest piece I could find to try it out and it was amazing. The flavors were wonderful and there was just enough peppermint crunch to it. I normally would not spend $14.50 on that small amount of peppermint bark but since I had the certificate I splurged and only had to pay the $4.50. I believe my shipping was free.... anyway, my obsession with all things peppermint right now is just kind of silly and I love this time of year for making it so easy to find such wonderful peppermint things.
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WeightWatchers & Food:
I'm still unable to eat a lot. I really am not complaining about that to be honest but it is getting kind of irritating that I can only handle certain foods and I seem to get heartburn way more frequently than I used to. I know my body is still kind of getting back to normal after the torture it went through but I wish it would get back to a semi normal state. I've eaten nothing but rice, noodles, crackers, bread/toast..... bland foods. Also, the thought of meat makes me feel ill. I wasn't a huge meat eater to begin with but I always ate chicken, ground turkey, lean ground beef, a steak here and there..... but now the thought of eating any of those things makes me nauseous. If I didn't know any better I would think I was pregnant. (Trust me. I KNOW I'm not.) The thought of fish doesn't seem to bother me though so I think I'm going to be a meatless eater for awhile, minus fish, and see how that goes. Maybe I won't be so grossed out by it in another couple of weeks or so but who knows. Not wanting meat has made some interesting meal choices lately. Like... this:

1 package of Easy Mac and cauliflower. 6PP

That was my dinner last night. I stood in the kitchen and just stared blankly at the food we had and nothing sounded good. Then my eyes passed over the Easy Mac and I didn't even hesitate. I had 19 points left for dinner and I knew I wouldn't eat 19 points worth of mac and cheese. (Even though I probably have in the past. lol) So, I threw that together, boiled up the cauliflower and then mixed it all in a bowl and ate it. I was completely satisfied and full when I was done and didn't think about food the rest of the night. 

Today's Menu:

B: Toast, coffee, milk

S: String Cheese

L: Easy Mac and Cauliflower

S: Pudding Cup

D: TBD - maybe Easy Mac and broccoli. Ha! 

Activity: Nada

I'm still feeling really tired right now. Last night I ran errands and tonight I need to go to the store to pick up a few things. The nights I do my errands I don't really work out. I know that's horrible - but I still just don't feel right. 

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I don't have much else to update. It is quiet at work right now because people don't move this time of year and I am thankful for that. Unfortunately for Andrew this is a super busy time of year for piano tunings and he has been running around like crazy tuning at churches and people's houses to get ready for Christmas celebrations. Good month for income, bad month for relaxation. Haha. 

Hello World

Gastroenteritis - that is what I had starting Friday morning at 1:30am and continuing into Saturday. Luckily for me the vomiting stopped around 12:30pm on Friday and I was able to keep clear liquids down. I had a lot of ice, water, and Diet 7Up. There is a GIANT misconception about this being the flu. It is not the flu. It is a stomach bug. It could have been something I ate, it could have been someone I work with, who knows. I was just unlucky enough to get it. I was MISERABLE. This is a sickness I do not wish on my worst enemy. Nobody should have to puke from both ends of their body.... just saying. Haha.
While I was sick I had some guardians watching over me:

Mom and dad had the dogs since I couldn't take them outside and Andrew was working. Therefore, it was up to the cats to make sure I was well taken care of. Aren't they sweet?

Enough about that disgusting-ness that was my weekend.
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Blog Giveaway Winner:

ANNA! You win my dear. I will need your address to send you your goodie.
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Saturday Weigh In:
This is going to crack all of you up. Remember, stomach virus all day Friday....

Weigh In: -11.1
Total Lost: 11.5
Pounds to Lose: 89.5

Yeah, gastroenteritis... the new detox diet.

This coming Saturday should be interesting when I go weigh in. It will most likely be a gain. This last weigh in I did at home because I did not want to infect anybody with what I had. Thank God my husband did not get it.
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Other WeightWatchers Stuff:

So, my eating and tracking is going great so far. Again, because of my inability to eat much food and it only being mostly carbs. I incorporated some vegetables yesterday and regretted it immediately. I'll get there soon but my body isn't ready for them just yet apparently.

I am back at work today and I packed a Progresso Chicken Soup for lunch today and we will see how that sits on my stomach. I have that and saltine crackers. I also have a pudding cup and a couple of cheese sticks. That is the extent of my food adventures today. For dinner tonight I think I might swing by a Chinese place and just get a giant thing of steamed rice. I'm obsessed with steamed white rice right now.
Whatever my body wants....
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I really don't have anything else to update. It isn't like I did anything exciting over the weekend. I didn't try any new recipes and I didn't go for any winter time runs. Haha. I was a sloth this weekend. A sick sloth.

And I am still exhausted and cannot wait to go home and go to bed.

Had An Episode Last Night

This happened yesterday:

I had an episode around 7:00 P.M. I had already taken the dogs for a walk, cleaned up the apartment, cooked and ate dinner, cleaned up the kitchen, did meal prep, ran to CVS to get my prescriptions, ran to the ATM to deposit a check, brushed and groomed Walter a little bit and still had a small binge. It put me up to 54 Points and I am now in the negative. This also happened:

I am technically only -7 now for the week. Those points will be easy enough to make up before Saturday. I am just sad that even though I was that busy all night... I still found the time to eat things I did not plan for and did not need. It was the first time this week that it happened though and I am proud of that at least. 

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Today's Menu:

B: 2 HB Eggs, 2 Pancakes, 1/8 c SF Syrup, 1 c FF milk, coffee (10P+)

S: (2) Cheese Sticks, Banana (3P+)

L: Progresso Light Chicken Corn Chowder, Chobani Flip Nutty for Nana, WW Mini Bar (12P+)

S: Green Tea and 100 Calorie Pack of Natural Almonds (3P+)

D: Chicken Breast, Butternut Squash, Brown Rice (9P+)

Activity: Walk or Run a mile

I will have 3P+ left after all of that for an evening snack if I choose to have one. Right now I'm really obsessed with Candy Canes, just regular old peppermint ones. They are 2P+ each and I never want to eat anything after them because my breath is so nice and fresh! Haha. 

I have also been doing this thing around 8:00 at night that if my ActiveLink says that I haven't gotten to 100% yet then I just start moving around the apartment. Last night I just did laps around the living room, kitchen, and bedroom. We only have a 1 bedroom apartment that is barely 900 sq feet. Imagine me trying to walk around in it. Haha. The dogs find it to be very entertaining though and it wears them out! It is my goal to at least hit 100% every day. No matter what. 

I'm doing pretty well on the Skinny Snowman Challenge but could be better! I am still enjoying it very much. 

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Doctor's Visit/Diagnosis:

I think I have complained on here before about how badly I have been wheezing. Well, I finally got in to see my doctor and she said I sounded asthmatic on my right side. It isn't horrible but she prescribed me a couple of inhalers to puff on throughout the day. I am supposed to do them quite frequently for a couple of weeks until I feel more regulated and can exercise without an issue and then just go down to an as needed basis. If at that time I use them more than twice a week then I have to go back and see her for testing and a different approach. I started to use them last night and this morning and I can already feel a HUGE difference. I think this will be my fix. My doctor wants to make sure I will be OK for my half marathon in April though and I am supposed to call her if I have any kind of wheezing when I run. 

I also got my annual flu shot and now my arm is sore. Like I did a strength work out. Weirdest feeling when you only have it in one arm and not the other! 

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Lastly - Don't forget about my Giveaway!!!!
So far Anna is the winner because she's the only one who has entered. Katie left me an author to read but politely asked not to be entered. So, thanks to both of you for the book suggestions!

Saturday Weigh In & Thanksgiving Recap

Happy Monday! I am back at work after having four marvelous days off and I'm sad it had to come to an end. As usual, it goes by way too quickly. I got to spend some wonderful time with family as well as some quiet, quality time with Andrew and it was perfect. I wouldn't change anything about Thanksgiving or the wonderful time I had.

Caesar giving me a sweet look. Grandma in the background.

Andrew and I watched Disney movies on Friday night and apparently Rhea really likes Robin Hood. She would not move from that spot. We finally had to get up and put her in the bedroom. It was the weirdest thing ever. When we watched The Emperor's New Groove she didn't once get up there. Must not like that one..... 

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Saturday Weigh In:
I decided to go back to Saturday morning weigh ins because I love Irene. She is the best leader and I like that early morning group. Plus, a meeting at 7:30 means I can weigh in right after waking up and then head home to make breakfast.

Weigh In: -0.4
Total Lost: -0.4
Left to Lose: 100.6

Who was shocked to lose after Thanksgiving? THIS GIRL. Seriously, only two days after stuffing my face and eating 1 2 3 4 pices of pie? (over a two day span... but still) I thought for sure I would be up about 5 or 6 pounds. No joke. I was thrilled.

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WeightWatchers & Stuff:
So, I joined the Skinny Snowman Challenge and it started Sunday. If you want to see all the rules, you can click the link. I love it so far. I know some people from the WW community that are also doing it so we're keeping each other accountable. I love little challenges like this. Especially over the Holidays when I am going to be tempted by cookies, candy and treats all around. Did I mention that Andrew's grandma makes some of the best fudge I've ever had and gives us all a big thing of it at Christmas? *drool*

Menu for today:
B: 3/4 c cereal, 1/2 c FF milk, 1 HB egg, coffee
S: Cheese Sticks, banana
L: Turkey Tacos (leftovers), black beans and rice, Chobani Flip (Nutty for Nana), WW mini bar
S: 1 oz pretzels
D: 1 c pasta, spinach, RF Parmesan
Activity: Walk the dogs

Oh, and guess what happened this weekend?

BOOM! Ended the week with 12 WPs remaining! First time I haven't been negative after a weekend in a VERY.LONG.TIME. 

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Yesterday we took Walter for his first ever walk on a leash around the block.

He did SO well. I was so proud of him. The harness made a huge difference. Whenever I had the leash attached to his collar he wasn't having it. I thought to get out the harness (that is really for the cat) and put it on him. He loved it. I want to continue to take him for walks to get him even more used to the leash. Caesar was trained with a backyard so his leash skills are lacking. Plus, I was a 21 year old with a puppy. I didn't train Caesar very well. My social life was uber important people. Walter is potty training and leash training very well though. I am one proud momma. 

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That is basically all that I have to update. No beauty products today. I will do one tomorrow. I have a couple of new products I'm loving!

I Found Someone

I broke down again last night after a marvelously horrid binge episode. I'm not even going to type what I did because it is extremely ridiculous and mortifying. I got on line immediately (after feeling the overwhelming guilt of what I just did) and found a therapist that specializes in eating disorders and weight management. It was after hours so I called and left a message. She ended up calling me back around 7:30 which I thought was awesome. She makes herself available after hours. She said she usually takes phone calls until about 9:00 at night if anyone needs her. That is really reassuring that you can get ahold of her at night if you need support or help. I meet with her Friday at 11:30 and I am looking forward to it.

I see my primary care physician on December 3 and will ask about upping my dosage of my anxiety meds. I think I need a little bit more to balance out completely.

I am hoping that with these two things I will be able to better understand and battle my internal struggles with binge eating and the emotional stress that comes along with it.

Also, I wanted to point out that I do not share all of this information to be all "woe is me and my life". I do it because I know I am not the only one out there that struggles with this and I want people to know that they aren't alone and that there are other people battling the same issues. I know I have found numerous blogs that have helped me when I needed it and they have made me feel more at ease knowing that I can relate to others. It is very difficult to talk about this stuff.... moving on....
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WeightWatchers & Stuff:
As mentioned above, yesterday didn't go well. I also didn't exercise. What I did do though was this:

• I joined WW Meetings again. Whenever I say "I can do it on my own!" and go to eTools only... I fail. I need the support group, I need what they have to offer and I need the accountability. Plus, I love my leader.
• I did crazy food prep last night. I am guilty of the "We have no food and need to go to the store!" That isn't always true. Last night I cooked up:
• Baked Chicken Thighs
• Spaghetti: made into 1 c. servings with 1/4 c. sauce
• Brown Rice
• Pancakes (2P+ for each)
• Bacon for Andrew
• HB Eggs
• Spinach
• I charged up my Garmin and cleaned out my workout clothes drawer for easier access to my favoirtes
• Cleaned the apartment - this always makes me feel better
• Played with the puppy - brings me joy! 
• Found Help

With those things being done I feel a lot more energized and motivated today. I will still need to go to the store very soon, but at least now we have plenty to get us through until then. I know Andrew really appreciates when I cook ahead and make things up into individual servings. 

Today's Menu:

B: 2 HB Eggs, 2 Pancakes(plain), 1 c FF milk, coffee (10P+)

S: (2) String Cheese (3P+)

L: 3.5 oz Chicken Thigh, Spinach, 1 c. FF cottage Cheese, SF Jell-O Pudding Cup (10P+)

S: Carrot Sticks with 2 T Peanut Butter (5P+) - Got this idea from Katie's Blog

D: 1 c. spaghetti with 1/4 c. pasta sauce, broccoli, Skinny Cow Heavenly Crisp Chocolate Bar (9P+)
Activity: TBD

My WW Meeting is tonight at 5:15pm and then I have to go home and take care of the babies. I might wait for Andrew to get home and go to the fitness center or go for a run while he watches the dogs. If not, I'll do the 30 Day Shred.
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Not much else to update and sorry about the lack of photos. I haven't really been in the photo capturing mood lately.

Oh, and I cannot believe it is November 20 already. WTF?

Jingle Bell Run & Weekend Recap

Hello Monday! I did not want to get out of bed this morning but only because I've been taking Benadryl at bedtime because my allergies are really bad. Therefore, when I wake up in the morning I feel like I'm heavily drugged. It takes awhile to get going so the first thing I do is take Walter out because the cold morning air really wakes you up! 

Time for my weekend recap. 

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Jingle Bell Run for Arthritis - 5K 

It was really fun! The temperature was great! The wind was a little strong but luckily it was at our backs after the turn around!

That still seems SUPER slow to me since I used to run a 9-10 minute mile, however, that right there is the fastest 3 miles I have done in a very long time. I am super proud of that. I ran the last part of the race without stopping. Also a big accomplishment since I have been so lax about running lately! 

Lots of fun outfits, hats and bells! Dogs are also welcome during this race. I wish Hyatt could have run it with me. He was with us in spirit! 

In the spirit of the race I wore red leggings under my shorts and a bell in my hair!

Afterwards, Andrew and I, plus the delicious salad and cheese snacks that we had after the race. Andrew didn't have the cheese snacks...being lactose-intolerant and all. I enjoyed them though! 

The race was really fun and I'm so glad we did it. The shirts we got were pretty awesome too. I love long sleeved T-Shirts. They are the best to bum around in during fall/winter. They are also great to run in! 

After the race we went home to shower and pack up for a weekend in Taylorville. I ran to PetsMart to grab some cat food and picked up a few cheap sqeaker toys for my mom's dogs. It was also Malcom and Inara's 8th birthday so I picked up a Peanut Butter Pup-Pie for them to share. (they loved it) Once in Taylorville we spent the day relaxing and I ended my night with this:

Dirty Gin Martini. Mmmmmmm...... I like to have martinis because I can only drink 1 and I sip it slowly to enjoy it. I do not over indulge when I drink these and then I don't use up as many of my points! 

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WeightWatchers & Food:

My food choices weren't amazing this weekend but they were better than they have been recently. Going to mom and dad's is always hard because they always have "no-no" foods (the foods that trigger me or I cannot say no to) and it is hard to stay away. I did really well though and only ended up -2 points as of last night. I have also earned 12 APs so far and it is only Monday! I plan on earning those 2 P+ that I am negative and them some. I want to keep on running this week. Going for at least 1 mile a night. 

We are getting to that "I need to go to the grocery store" point at our apartment. I have enough pasta, rice, and vegetables for sides but my only meat is Chicken Thighs. Hopefully I can be creative enough to make everything last one more week. *fingers crossed*

Menu for today:

B: Smart Ones Oatmeal, 2 HB eggs, coffee

S: String Cheese, Apple
L: Leftover 3 Bean Turkey Chili, Tuscan Herb Bagel, WW candies

S: Celery sticks and Roasted Pine Nut Hummus

D: Chicken Thigh, brown rice and spinach

Activity: At least a 1 mile run, if not more

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I leave for Iowa on Friday and I'm so excited! I get to see my bestie and then I'm bringing Grandma back to town for Thanksgiving! I love this time of year. It is full of friends and family! 

No Pictures Today

I must have been lazy yesterday. I didn't take any pictures. Oh well. You'll just have to deal with my rambling.
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New Recipe:
Last night I made Baked Chicken Parmesan from, you guessed it, Gina's Site. It was fantastic! I stole her picture which is a lot prettier than mine turned out.

Mine was a melted cheesy mess and absolutely delicious. It is 6P+ a serving and it makes 8 servings! That is a lot for Andrew and I and I didn't think this one would freeze very well so I invited mom and dad to have lunch with me today here at work and I packed some up for them. Now I only have a few servings left at home for Andrew and I. I put mine on top of 1 c of linguine (5P+). I added a vegetable too for some greens. It was a very filling dinner and I do recommend it!

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WeightWatchers & Stuff:

I am definitely back on track. I got off a little bit over the weekend, as usual, and that carried over into Monday but yesterday I had a serious conversation with myself about how I needed to get back with it and stop having the mindset that I can do what I want and only be good 90% of the time and still lose weight. That isn't how it works. 

I am still doing my 30 Day Shred Challenge. Today is Day 13 and I did switch to Level 2 on Sunday. I don't know if I pushed harder or what last night but today my back is SORE. There are a lot of planks and shoulder exercises in Level 2 and I'm really feeling it. That is a good thing since my body was getting used to Level 1.... but man. I'm a bit uncomfortable. I don't even want to know how I'd be feeling if I wasn't soaking in Epsom salts at night. Andrew and I really like those. We ordered a huge bag off of Amazon and they are already almost gone. Great stuff! I got lavendar scented ones so they would be relaxing at night. 

My menu I have planned for today is:

B: Tuscan Herb bagel (plain), 1 c FF milk, coffee

S: Cheese Sticks and a banana

L: Leftover Chicken Parmesan, 1 c noodles, SF jell-o pudding

S: Bell Peppers with light ranch

D: TBD

Activity: Day 13, Level 2 of Shred

I haven't been running recently and I really should try and go out tomorrow. That 5K is sneaking up on me. Haha. I'm hoping that by doing the Shred it has helped improve my performance somewhat. 

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Tomorrow night I will take my measurements and progress photos. I sure don't feel any different but the tape measure and photos don't lie! We will see what happens and I hope to have some awesome results for Friday's weigh in post. 

Let it Snow!

Our weekend was great. I'm not going to give a full recap but it was a nice weekend. Wedding, bonfire, movie, Sims 3, groceries, naps, etc. 

Yesterday we got our new floors put in our bathroom. I was so excited for this to happen! We have a cat that sprayed. Any of you that have cats know that once they do that there is no hope of getting the smell out of the floor unless you rip up the carpet and the padding and put down new floors. Luckily for us, he only sprayed in the bathroom by the litter box so changing the floor in that area was easy enough. I. Love. It. 

There is the before and after. SO much nicer. The after picture is missing the toilet because they hadn't finished yet.

Chatham Hills is the best. I'm telling you. This will be our 3rd year living there and I lived there for 1 year back in 2007. I love the community and I love the people at the leasing office. It is a really nice place to live. 

Anyway, yesterday was a hectic day. I left work early to be there for the installers and to gather up the animals to take them to my in-laws. We spent majority of the afternoon over there and running errands and finally went back to the apartment around 4:30. Well, they still weren't completely finished but it was OK that we were back in the apartment. I cleaned, vacuumed up most of the mess they made, got the animals situated again, washed all the bed clothes (Walter had an accident on the bed), cooked dinner, ate dinner, cleaned up after dinner, vacuumed more after they were completely done, showered and dried my hair. Needless to say by 8:30 I was exhausted and according to my ActiveLink I earned 4APs. No need for exercise. Haha. I laid down around 9:00 and passed out. Not even under the covers or anything... just passed out. Andrew woke up me around 10:00 so I could get situated for the night and he was like "It snowed." WHA!? I had to jump out of bed and look outside. It didn't snow much but it was pretty! I am one of those weird people that likes the snow. Not all over the roads mind you, I like it on the grass, trees and houses. This was the perfect kind of snow. It'll all be gone by the end of the day but it is pretty to look at for now! 

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New Recipe:

Yesterday I made Chicken Parmigiana Burgers from Gina's site. 

They were delicious. It makes 4 so Andrew and I each had one and then we each got one today for our lunch. 

I couldn't find the exact sauce she used in her recipe, so I just used regular pasta sauce so they were a little messy. We used forks to eat them and we just loved them. Perfect quick and EASY dinner after a hectic day. 

This is one that I will save in my binder and make again. 

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WeightWatchers & Stuff:

I finally went to the grocery store which is why I was able to make such delicious-ness last night for dinner. I also made Andrew a huge batch of chicken noodle soup that he can eat on throughout the week. I know he appreciated that. I still have some leftover chili from before that I need to eat up and one serving of baked ziti. Those will definitely be lunch items for the remainder of the week.

Food has been OK. Not great. I started Level 2 of the 30 Day Shred and holy cow did it kick my butt. I will do Day 12 tonight. I'm hoping that even if the scale doesn't show me good numbers on weigh in day that I will at least continue to lose inches and see changes in myself. 

I ordered a GIANT water bottle/jug for work off of Amazon and got it yesterday. I've been using a large Tervis cup for water while I'm at work but I'm not exactly sure how much that holds. Plus, I am constantly filling it. I got myself a 64 oz pink jug and that is my daily requirement for water intake. I love it and am glad I got it. 

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Random Thing of the Day:

Andrew got me my own PS3 controller. I love it. 

Weigh In Day

Happy Friday! I'm looking forward to the weekend, like always. All I have is a wedding to go to and then I want to stop by the apartment complex bonfire on Saturday and that is all I have planned! Other than that I will do laundry and snuggle my sweet little fur babies.

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Friday Weigh In:
Weigh In: +2.1
Pounds Lost: 8
Left to Lose: 98.1

Very much expected this. After a week of a 10.1 pound loss it is kind of OK to gain a little bit back. Especially since I have upped my activity tremendously. My body is still adjusting to everything. I also didn't have the best food and know I went over my Points allowance. Last night I completed Day 10 of the 30 Day Shred. I will be taking progress photos and measurements on Thursday nights and as of last night here were the results from the previous week:

Inches Lost:
Waist: 0
Bust: 2'
Arms: 1'
Hips: 0'
Thighs: 0.5'

Total of 3.5 inches lost. I was very happy. I would have been happier to see inches lost of my waist but that will come eventually. I don't see a ton of difference in my photos except my back. Before when I lost weight I always did front and side pictures and this time I decided to throw in back pictures as well. I'm glad I did. That is where I noticed the most change. I was actually really shocked!(and proud of course) Tonight will be Day 11 and I am thinking of switching to Level 2 soon. Once I can get through Level 1 without taking ANY breaks, I will jump up to Level 2. Gotta keep my body guessing.

I won't be posting any progress photos until I start to see even more of a difference. Maybe after 3 weeks or so. I'm still kind of grossed out and embarrassed by my pictures and how I look......
I'm not ready for the world to see yet. LOL
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WeightWatchers & Food:
Guess who still hasn't gone grocery shopping? THIS GIRL! Seriously.... this morning I stopped at the gas station and picked up 2 HB eggs, a cliff bar for an afternoon snack and a banana. Then I swung through McDonald's drive up to get Oatmeal and a large black coffee. I really do not like McDonald's because:
1) It makes my stomach hurt so bad
2) I CANNOT say no to their french fries
3) I can go in there with good intentions but they completely go out the window once I smell the fries
4) Supersize Me <--- scarred me for life
5) Because it is just so unhealthy and greasy
However, I love their oatmeal. It is one of the few things I really enjoy from there (minus the fries). Their coffee is also really good too. I will get a coffee and put my own FF milk in it.

For lunch I am going to have a Jimmy John's Vegetarian Unwich with no mayo and a pickle. Dinner.... well.... good question. I have NO idea. I have some leftover chili..... I could have that and some veggies. I think I will go to the store tonight. Late. Once Andrew gets home from work (around 8:15 or so) he can stay home and watch the puppy while I go stock up on food. If not tonight, I will definitely go first thing tomorrow morning. I try to avoid grocery stores on the weekends. Too many people. Too many kids. Makes me twitchy.
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Currently Reading:

Just started this last night. I finished "The Accident" by L. Barclay and it was really good. Lots of twists and turns that I was not expecting. I love books that have me trying to guess who the killer is and what is going on throughout the book and then they throw you completely by surprise at the end. I am hoping this one is similar. That happened with "Too Close To Home" too. Great writing. Great attention to detail. Love it.
The only thing that makes me sad is that our online library doesn't have all of Linwood's books. I may have to go downtown to the library this weekend to find the rest.
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Nothing else to update folks. I hope you all have a fun and safe weekend and I probably won't be posting anything new until Monday!

Puffy

I'm feeling puffy today. This morning I went to take my newly resized wedding ring off and had to pry it off my finger it was so puffy. WTF man? It is coming off much easier now but that was really irritating this morning. I'm on a mission to drink as much lemon water and green tea as I can today so that I can flush my system of the sodium and water retention. Tomorrow is weigh in day damn it. I will not have these shennanigans!
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WeightWatchers & Stuff:
Well, yesterday went alright except for the cup of noodles with RF Parmesan Cheese I decdied to have around 7:00. After I had eaten my dinner at 5:30. Yeah. It happened. *sigh* No wonder I'm puffy. I didn't end up doing the Shred until almost 9:00 but I DID IT. That is what matters. I procrastinated big time last night. There is a reason that happened too. Still, I did it and I am very proud of myself because I could have made excuses about it being late and being too tired, etc. Tonight will be Day 10!!!

Menu for today:
B: 2 eggs, lite english muffin, 1 c FF milk, coffee
S: Strawberries, air popped popcorn
L: Leftover 3 Bean Turkey Chili, Grilled Cheese, SF Jell-O Pudding
S: Plain FF Greek yogurt, 1 T Peanut Butter and 1 T Grape Jelly (one of my new favorite snacks)
D: Huge salad with romaine lettuce, chickpeas, mushrooms, olive oil and balsamic vinegar
Activity: Day 10 of Level 1 of the 30 Day Shred

I'm having a the salad for dinner in hopes that keeping it light won't throw off my weigh in tomorrow. I am nervous for it because I had such a huge loss last week and this week I had a couple of "no-no" meals that I'm not proud of. We will see what happens. I will also be taking my measurements and some progress photos tonight. Since starting the Shred and sticking with it I want to see what, if anything, has happened with my body. I'm nervous/excited to see!

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Puppy News:
Ok, so the reason I didn't work out right when I got home was because of darling Walter.

Do not let his cuteness fool you. As soon as I walked in the door of the apartment my nose was assaulted by the most rancid and putrid smell. I almost threw up. Mr. Walter had pooped in his cage and it was ALL OVER HIM. I had to get him out of the cage, poop all over my hands (hurk), and let him outside to do whatever business he needed to attend to. Then I had to get him again and get him a bath ASAP. Then I had to scrub my hands in scalding hot water. Ha! Once he was all cleaned up I threw out the blanket that was in the cage since there was no point in washing it and then I cleaned out the cage and put it outside to air out. The joys of having a puppy folks. 

I've had many puppies in my life and this is nothing new... but my goodness it has been awhile and ICK. 

After all of that was taken care of I played with him awhile to get some of the energy out of him, put a new scent in the Scentsy burners to get that lingering poop smell to go away and then finally got to change out of my work clothes. So, that is where the procrastination came from. After all of that was done I didn't want to do the Shred. 

Silly little Walter. 

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Currently Reading: 

The Accident by Linwood Barclay

I recently finished a different Linwood Barclay book called "Too Close to Home". It was really good so I decided to give another one of his books a try. So far, so good. Before starting in on this one I read a Lisa Jackson book called "You Don't Want to Know". Also very good. I am trying to branch out and find some new authors through our online library. I get all of these books on my Kindle Fire through libraryonthego.org and I love it. I still enjoy going to an actual library and getting physcial books but the ease of just downloading it onto my Kindle is awesome. I have read so many books recently. 

Anyway, Linwood Barclay does murder mystery/thriller novels and I enjoy his writing style. The books always start out really good too. They capture my interest right away. I would recommend "Too Close to Home" as well as this one I am reading now even though I'm only 42% done. It is great. I am going to try a few more Lisa Jackson books as well. 

Feel free to leave me some authors you like as well! I read about 2-3 books a week and would love some new things to try! 

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Nothing else to update folks. No new recipes either. I really need to go to the store. The only thing in my freezer is ice and a few bags of frozen vegetables. The fridge isn't much better.... 

So glad I have leftover chili and baked ziti still. Otherwise Andrew and I would be eating PB&J for every meal the rest of the week.....

.....Until we ran out of bread......