Almost One Year

 It's been almost a year since I did a blog post. I'm not 100% sure why I stop completely. Probably because of finding the time to actually do it. 

It is currently 4:36 p.m. I am sitting on the couch with Carson while he plays his favorite game on his tablet. Dean is sitting at the desk eating Velveeta shells and cheese while he plays on his iPod. It's that "wind down" from school before dinner and bedtime routines. Carson did in home ABA today because we are really focusing on potty training him fully. He just walked away from me and I said "Carson, let's go to the bathroom." to which he responded with a very firm "NO." and shut his bedroom door. Six year old autism is definitely more difficult than 3 or 4 year old autism. Also, if Dean doesn't stop saying "awww, dammit.", I am going to get in trouble. Little turd. Then again, it's probably better than some of the things he could be repeating. 

Today's "Ta-Da" list includes:

• Walter to the groomer
• Dropping off a check to the real estate company (earnest money)
• In home ABA with Carson
• Cleaning out the garage/backyard and filling up the dumpster I rented last week. 
• Cleaning out the inside of the house and filling up the dumpster even more.
• Dishes
• Laundry
• All the cooking (my kids are always hungry)
• Picking up Dean
• Picking up Walter
• More dishes and laundry

I saw someone on IG post about doing a "ta-da" list instead of a to-do list. I liked that idea a lot. I get to show myself that I was pretty productive..... my exhaustion kind of tells me that too, though. 

So... what's left for the night? Dinner, dinner clean up, time with the boys, and bedtime. I would also like to read a little and write in my journal. 

I hate bedtime. Well, scratch that, I don't hate bedtime, I hate that my almost 4 year old NEVER sleeps through the night. He always wakes up around midnight, 2:00 am, 4:00 am, and 6:00 am. It's INFURIATING. 

Throw in an autistic child who doesn't sleep well and you've got the makings of one tired and crabby momma lady. 

Because you know what happens around 2:00 or 4:00 in the morning? My brain starts thinking about ALL OF THE THINGS IN THE UNIVERSE. You think it's possible to go back to sleep when that happens? No. I have a strict rule of not grabbing my phone when I'm awake at that hour. I know full well that looking at a screen just makes things worse.... but then I am left alone with my wandering thoughts and I honestly don't know what's worse at that point. The screen or my own head. 

So, any suggestions on getting a 4 year old to stop waking up frequently in the night.... pass them my way. However, if you mention essential oils to me I will lose my shit. We've tried those and they're useless. Ok? Thanks.