Meet My Pets

What else is there to do in a quarantine but introduce you all to my animals? I share a lot of pictures of them with ridiculous captions on social media, but today I'm going to share a little more about them with ridiculous paragraphs.

This is Hobbs. He is 11 years old (we think) and he's a massive black cat. Andrew and I adopted him from the APL after we got our first apartment together. He is a lover. He loves attention and he absolutely knows that he rules the roost. I often call him Hobzilla and we sing his name to the Red Robin theme "Hoooobzilla..... Yummmmm" He refuses to use a litter box and will only go to the bathroom outside. During the summer months he's a vicious hunter and leaves all manner of dead animals around my yard. It's just great.

This is Walter. Or Wal-TURD. He will be 7 years old this summer. I found him through a newspaper ad. A woman in Virden had a shih tzu that had a litter of SIX black shih tzu puppies and I HAD to have one. He was $300 and that was a steal of a price. Now I realize why he was so cheap. He's dumb. He's weird. He eats his poop, cat poop, his vomit, cat vomit...... all manner of disgusting things dogs can sometimes eat. He has separation anxiety from me and would literally die if something happened to me. He follows me all over the house and panics when I'm not around. I give him shit constantly and always tell him I'm going to trade him in for a real dog. All kidding aside, he's loyal, loves his family and would fight to the death to protect us.

Here we have Butters. Butters was a stray kitten my coworker found at her house. She could not keep him so I took him in. He's 2 years old and he is the weirdest cat I have ever had in my life. There are no words to describe him but weird. He only really likes me, he is skittish AF, he hates being inside, but when he is inside overnight all he does is yowl like a female cat in heat or lays by the side of my head and purrs.

Sammy (left) and Little Miss (right). These two kittens were a complete and total whim adoption from the APL. Why did I go there that day? Why did I adopt them? I have NO idea. It just happened. They will be a year old this month and they are super sweet and affectionate. Sammy, or as we call him Sammy Shitbags, loves attention. He begs for it. You could pet that cat all day and he'd be the happiest cat in the world. Little Miss is.... a little more crazy. She is a tortoise shell after all. All torties are crazy. She wants attention on her terms and that's usually in the middle of the night when she climbs all over me and tries to lick/nibble my ears, nose, or lips. It's very weird...... I adore these two so it infuriates me when they always run outside.

Cats are assholes.

So there you have it. My furbabies. At any given time we can have all 5 of them in the house or just Walter in the house. I don't want the kittens to be outside, but they're so damn FAST and my kids don't understand shutting the door quickly when they go outside to play. In fact, sometimes Carson swings the screen door open and doesn't shut it (it's broken at the moment and doesn't shut on it's own). I should probably add that to my "things to fix while home" list.