I Found Someone

I broke down again last night after a marvelously horrid binge episode. I'm not even going to type what I did because it is extremely ridiculous and mortifying. I got on line immediately (after feeling the overwhelming guilt of what I just did) and found a therapist that specializes in eating disorders and weight management. It was after hours so I called and left a message. She ended up calling me back around 7:30 which I thought was awesome. She makes herself available after hours. She said she usually takes phone calls until about 9:00 at night if anyone needs her. That is really reassuring that you can get ahold of her at night if you need support or help. I meet with her Friday at 11:30 and I am looking forward to it.

I see my primary care physician on December 3 and will ask about upping my dosage of my anxiety meds. I think I need a little bit more to balance out completely.

I am hoping that with these two things I will be able to better understand and battle my internal struggles with binge eating and the emotional stress that comes along with it.

Also, I wanted to point out that I do not share all of this information to be all "woe is me and my life". I do it because I know I am not the only one out there that struggles with this and I want people to know that they aren't alone and that there are other people battling the same issues. I know I have found numerous blogs that have helped me when I needed it and they have made me feel more at ease knowing that I can relate to others. It is very difficult to talk about this stuff.... moving on....
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WeightWatchers & Stuff:
As mentioned above, yesterday didn't go well. I also didn't exercise. What I did do though was this:

• I joined WW Meetings again. Whenever I say "I can do it on my own!" and go to eTools only... I fail. I need the support group, I need what they have to offer and I need the accountability. Plus, I love my leader.
• I did crazy food prep last night. I am guilty of the "We have no food and need to go to the store!" That isn't always true. Last night I cooked up:
• Baked Chicken Thighs
• Spaghetti: made into 1 c. servings with 1/4 c. sauce
• Brown Rice
• Pancakes (2P+ for each)
• Bacon for Andrew
• HB Eggs
• Spinach
• I charged up my Garmin and cleaned out my workout clothes drawer for easier access to my favoirtes
• Cleaned the apartment - this always makes me feel better
• Played with the puppy - brings me joy! 
• Found Help

With those things being done I feel a lot more energized and motivated today. I will still need to go to the store very soon, but at least now we have plenty to get us through until then. I know Andrew really appreciates when I cook ahead and make things up into individual servings. 

Today's Menu:

B: 2 HB Eggs, 2 Pancakes(plain), 1 c FF milk, coffee (10P+)

S: (2) String Cheese (3P+)

L: 3.5 oz Chicken Thigh, Spinach, 1 c. FF cottage Cheese, SF Jell-O Pudding Cup (10P+)

S: Carrot Sticks with 2 T Peanut Butter (5P+) - Got this idea from Katie's Blog

D: 1 c. spaghetti with 1/4 c. pasta sauce, broccoli, Skinny Cow Heavenly Crisp Chocolate Bar (9P+)
Activity: TBD

My WW Meeting is tonight at 5:15pm and then I have to go home and take care of the babies. I might wait for Andrew to get home and go to the fitness center or go for a run while he watches the dogs. If not, I'll do the 30 Day Shred.
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Not much else to update and sorry about the lack of photos. I haven't really been in the photo capturing mood lately.

Oh, and I cannot believe it is November 20 already. WTF?