One Year Post Op: Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy

 On January 13, 2020, I had a Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy. VSG, if you will. A weight loss surgery that removes about 80% of your stomach leaving behind a tiny banana shaped pouch. 

I decided I wanted to investigate this surgery and my chances of being approved for it in August of 2019. I asked my doctor for a referral to the Weightloss and Wellness Center of Springfield. She was more than happy to refer me as she knows how much I have always struggled with my weight. During my first set of appointments, one with a behavioral health professional, a nurse practitioner, a dietician, and a physical therapist... I found out that I qualified for the surgery and for insurance to cover it. This didn't necessarily make me happy. This news meant that I fit the profile of a morbidly obese person and could have an invasive surgery to completely change the natural size of my stomach. It didn't deter me though. I went to every class, every appointment, kept journals and logs, exercised, proved that I was worthy to be a part of the program to change my life. 

The day I got the call with my surgery date, I was sitting inside of Head West sub shop about to dive in to my delicious vegetable sub (add banana peppers), and I was beside myself with excitement. The few people in the sub shop probably thought I was a nut. I called my husband and my mom and said "This is it. I'm doing it. I'm scheduled for 1/13/2020." My mom, husband, and employer were the only people that knew I was even doing this. I did not make it public knowledge. Not for fear of judgement. Y'all can shove your judgement up ya butts.... I didn't make it public knowledge because it was SO personal to me and such a "me only" choice. I didn't want everyone's opinions on the matter. Therefore, the world found out AFTER I had the surgery. 

My highest weight was 12/5/2014. The day after I had Carson I was 284.4 pounds. I was 15.6 pounds away from 300. That shook me to my core. Granted, I had just had a baby.... but the fact that I allowed myself to get that big.... AGAIN.... it broke me. I'm not going to go into the details of my depression after Carson and how hard being a mom was.... but my weight was a big part of that depression and I'll never get those beginning days with Carson back. I wish I would have looked past all of that and just focused on my sweet boy.... but we can't live in the past. 

1.3.2015 - Heaviest Weight 280 lbs

So, from 2014 to 2016 I obsessed over my weight and food... again. For the millionth time in my life. 2014 is when I started to really get into a plant based lifestyle. Not perfectly, of course. No one is perfect. 

In June of 2016, I got pregnant with Dean. I was still big, yes, but not as big as I was with Carson. With Dean, I ate a completely vegetarian diet. I was so much healthier with Dean and his pregnancy was so much easier. However, I stayed in the 260's when he was born. I got myself down to 240ish when he was about 9 months old. 

Then Carson got his autism diagnosis in February of 2018. 

I spiraled. 

6.6.2018 - Around 270 lbs

Again, not going to get into all of that, but it wasn't a good time in my life. I gained that little weight I had lost back AND got myself into horrible debt.... again.... (seeing a pattern here?) 

So, in 2019 I made that decision to try something else to help me get healthy again. A decision that could only be mine. 

I don't regret it. 

I am one year post op. My starting weight was 268.1. My BMI was 40.5. 

Today, I am 191. My BMI is 29. I've lost over 40" off of my body. 

268.1 pounds to 195 pounds

I feel better. That is what's most important to me. I no longer feel like I want to crawl out of my skin. I can cross my legs and fit places better. I feel healthier and have more energy. 

For the last several months I have hovered between 187 - 191. It discourages me a little, but it also makes me happy that I am able to maintain this weight without a lot of effort. Do I want to lose more? Sure. I'm not going for supermodel skinny here, but I'd like to be in a healthy BMI and I'd LOVE to get rid of the excess skin hanging around my midsection that causes me rashes and a whole lot of discomfort. 

I have a consult appointment with a plastic surgeon on 3.19.2021

I cannot wait. 

Almost One Year

 It's been almost a year since I did a blog post. I'm not 100% sure why I stop completely. Probably because of finding the time to actually do it. 

It is currently 4:36 p.m. I am sitting on the couch with Carson while he plays his favorite game on his tablet. Dean is sitting at the desk eating Velveeta shells and cheese while he plays on his iPod. It's that "wind down" from school before dinner and bedtime routines. Carson did in home ABA today because we are really focusing on potty training him fully. He just walked away from me and I said "Carson, let's go to the bathroom." to which he responded with a very firm "NO." and shut his bedroom door. Six year old autism is definitely more difficult than 3 or 4 year old autism. Also, if Dean doesn't stop saying "awww, dammit.", I am going to get in trouble. Little turd. Then again, it's probably better than some of the things he could be repeating. 

Today's "Ta-Da" list includes:

• Walter to the groomer
• Dropping off a check to the real estate company (earnest money)
• In home ABA with Carson
• Cleaning out the garage/backyard and filling up the dumpster I rented last week. 
• Cleaning out the inside of the house and filling up the dumpster even more.
• Dishes
• Laundry
• All the cooking (my kids are always hungry)
• Picking up Dean
• Picking up Walter
• More dishes and laundry

I saw someone on IG post about doing a "ta-da" list instead of a to-do list. I liked that idea a lot. I get to show myself that I was pretty productive..... my exhaustion kind of tells me that too, though. 

So... what's left for the night? Dinner, dinner clean up, time with the boys, and bedtime. I would also like to read a little and write in my journal. 

I hate bedtime. Well, scratch that, I don't hate bedtime, I hate that my almost 4 year old NEVER sleeps through the night. He always wakes up around midnight, 2:00 am, 4:00 am, and 6:00 am. It's INFURIATING. 

Throw in an autistic child who doesn't sleep well and you've got the makings of one tired and crabby momma lady. 

Because you know what happens around 2:00 or 4:00 in the morning? My brain starts thinking about ALL OF THE THINGS IN THE UNIVERSE. You think it's possible to go back to sleep when that happens? No. I have a strict rule of not grabbing my phone when I'm awake at that hour. I know full well that looking at a screen just makes things worse.... but then I am left alone with my wandering thoughts and I honestly don't know what's worse at that point. The screen or my own head. 

So, any suggestions on getting a 4 year old to stop waking up frequently in the night.... pass them my way. However, if you mention essential oils to me I will lose my shit. We've tried those and they're useless. Ok? Thanks. 

Meet My Pets

What else is there to do in a quarantine but introduce you all to my animals? I share a lot of pictures of them with ridiculous captions on social media, but today I'm going to share a little more about them with ridiculous paragraphs.

This is Hobbs. He is 11 years old (we think) and he's a massive black cat. Andrew and I adopted him from the APL after we got our first apartment together. He is a lover. He loves attention and he absolutely knows that he rules the roost. I often call him Hobzilla and we sing his name to the Red Robin theme "Hoooobzilla..... Yummmmm" He refuses to use a litter box and will only go to the bathroom outside. During the summer months he's a vicious hunter and leaves all manner of dead animals around my yard. It's just great.

This is Walter. Or Wal-TURD. He will be 7 years old this summer. I found him through a newspaper ad. A woman in Virden had a shih tzu that had a litter of SIX black shih tzu puppies and I HAD to have one. He was $300 and that was a steal of a price. Now I realize why he was so cheap. He's dumb. He's weird. He eats his poop, cat poop, his vomit, cat vomit...... all manner of disgusting things dogs can sometimes eat. He has separation anxiety from me and would literally die if something happened to me. He follows me all over the house and panics when I'm not around. I give him shit constantly and always tell him I'm going to trade him in for a real dog. All kidding aside, he's loyal, loves his family and would fight to the death to protect us.

Here we have Butters. Butters was a stray kitten my coworker found at her house. She could not keep him so I took him in. He's 2 years old and he is the weirdest cat I have ever had in my life. There are no words to describe him but weird. He only really likes me, he is skittish AF, he hates being inside, but when he is inside overnight all he does is yowl like a female cat in heat or lays by the side of my head and purrs.

Sammy (left) and Little Miss (right). These two kittens were a complete and total whim adoption from the APL. Why did I go there that day? Why did I adopt them? I have NO idea. It just happened. They will be a year old this month and they are super sweet and affectionate. Sammy, or as we call him Sammy Shitbags, loves attention. He begs for it. You could pet that cat all day and he'd be the happiest cat in the world. Little Miss is.... a little more crazy. She is a tortoise shell after all. All torties are crazy. She wants attention on her terms and that's usually in the middle of the night when she climbs all over me and tries to lick/nibble my ears, nose, or lips. It's very weird...... I adore these two so it infuriates me when they always run outside.

Cats are assholes.

So there you have it. My furbabies. At any given time we can have all 5 of them in the house or just Walter in the house. I don't want the kittens to be outside, but they're so damn FAST and my kids don't understand shutting the door quickly when they go outside to play. In fact, sometimes Carson swings the screen door open and doesn't shut it (it's broken at the moment and doesn't shut on it's own). I should probably add that to my "things to fix while home" list.

Project 333

Ok, I know what you’re thinking. What weird thing is Becky into this time? I have been a fan of Courtney Carver since The Minimalists spoke of her and her book Soulful Simplicity. In that book, she speaks briefly of her capsule wardrobe and her Project 333 Challenge. 33 clothing items for 3 months.

Items include:
Clothing
Shoes
Bags
Jewelry
Scarves
Coats
Hats

The reason it is for 3 months is because of changing weather. Obviously your summer Project 333 is going to look different than your winter one. Especially when you live in a place that experiences such drastic weather changes, which I do.

Items NOT included:
Wedding ring
Workout clothes ONLY if you use them for exercise
Work Uniforms (for me, black pants, white shirt, black sweater, black shoes)
Socks
Underwear/Bras
Undershirts
Pajamas/Lounge clothes you would NOT go out in public in

My closet. The first 7 pieces are my “uniform”. I have 7 t-shirts,  2 blouses, and 3 long sleeved shirts. 

That puts me at 12 items. I then have 1 pair of jeans, 4 pairs of long leggings and 2 pairs of capris leggings.
19 items.
1 pair of short boots, 1 pair of tall boots, 2 pairs of sandals and 1 pair of tennis shoes.
24 items.
2 purses, 1 tote bag, 6 pairs of earrings.
33 items.

There you have it. I have to say, it was insanely easy for me to purge items from my closet since over half of the clothes were way too big. This will continue to happen, however, I am happy that the pieces I have will work for my next two sizes down. They’ll just be a bit roomy.

Why am I doing this? Well, once again, I am huge into being more minimal in my life. I have so much less stress and worry when I am not surrounded by so much stuff. The items I have chosen for my 33 items make me happy. I feel good in all of my clothes. I look good in all of my clothes. They all fit me well, they’re all comfortable and at any given time I never say “I don’t have anything to wear!” It will save me time, money, stress and most of all... it will save me from myself and my criticizing thoughts. When you enjoy everything you wear and you feel good in it, the positive thoughts roll right in. Trust me.

I encourage you to check out the book Project 333 and to look into your own closet situation. How many things are just hanging there that you never wear? That are uncomfortable? That still have the tag on it?? How many shoes do you own that kill your feet but you just HAD to have them??

Just think about it. There's no harm in that.