Conflicting Goals

I listen to the Dave Ramsey podcast everyday on my way to and from work. Sometimes on my lunch break. It is no big secret that Andrew and I are fans of Dave Ramsey. We have been following (somewhat) his plan since before we got married. I started to really get into Dave's show/classes around Spring of 2011. Since then, Andrew and I have paid off quite a lot of stuff and started to watch our money better. However, there are some months where we are more focused than others. In July I told Andrew that I had, in all seriousness, finally had enough. We were only "kind of" following the plan and were getting nowhere. We've always had our emergency fund and we always pay cash for expensive things (like our washer and dryer) but our monthly expenses just seemed to be all over the place.

On Dave's show (Thursday's podcast) he was answering a question for a woman that had asked when should they send her husband back to school. Dave of course asked "Are you completely debt free and can you cash flow college?" to which the woman replied no. Dave then told her that no, he would not recommend that the man go back to school until all debt was gone and they could pay for college with cash. He then got off on a little speech about conflicting goals and how that sets us back from the things we want to accomplish. We are (for the most part) ambitious by nature and want to do it all! Problem is, we can't. We need to be all in for one big goal at a time and then move on to the next. That totally hit home for me. I have two college degrees but together they do not make a Bachelor's because they are completely unrelated fields of study. It frustrates me that I have gone to school for so long and do not have a 4 year degree to show for it. I have ambition to finish school but I also have the ambition to get completely out of debt (all school loans *hurk*). I cannot continue to keep going to school while trying to get out of debt. Financially for Andrew and I it just doesn't work. I cannot pay for my existing loans AND pay for school in cash and I need to pull back.

I finally came to the realization this morning that school can only happen when we have the funds to cash flow it. That day might not come until I'm 35 or 40. (I have a lot of school loans people....) I need to be OK with that and I think I finally am. I'm not any less of a person because I haven't finished my Bachelor's degree. I am still a very smart and talented person who does well at any job I have ever had. I adapt well to change and I learn very quickly. That isn't something college has taught me - that's just who I am. I have learned more from being in the workforce than I have ever learned in a classroom. Yes, class has taught me some stuff that has come in handy, but life experiences have been so much more valuable. So, I will finish school when the time is right for me and my family. Right now is not that time.

I let go of control of the checkbook last month as well. The entire month of August has been in Andrew's hands and things have been going VERY well. Andrew is more disciplined than I am and I need someone to keep me more accountable. I am not ashamed to admit that. I'm a spender. I always have been. We now talk about all purchases, we make our budget, and we revisit it throughout the month if things need to change. We are having one of the best months financially that we have had in a long time because we are both completely focused on it and talking more. It's amazing how easy it has been this month. We are both so much happier now.

I know some people don't like Dave Ramsey. If you don't, that's fine. I'm not here to push him down your throat or anything. If you never looked into his books or program, I would highly recommend it though. The man is successful for a reason. Andrew and I bought the home version of Financial Peace University last year and we love it. I plan on buying the Junior version for Carson when he is old enough. I don't want Carson to follow in my financial footsteps. He's going to enjoy life without ever worrying about money.