Meet My Pets

What else is there to do in a quarantine but introduce you all to my animals? I share a lot of pictures of them with ridiculous captions on social media, but today I'm going to share a little more about them with ridiculous paragraphs.

This is Hobbs. He is 11 years old (we think) and he's a massive black cat. Andrew and I adopted him from the APL after we got our first apartment together. He is a lover. He loves attention and he absolutely knows that he rules the roost. I often call him Hobzilla and we sing his name to the Red Robin theme "Hoooobzilla..... Yummmmm" He refuses to use a litter box and will only go to the bathroom outside. During the summer months he's a vicious hunter and leaves all manner of dead animals around my yard. It's just great.

This is Walter. Or Wal-TURD. He will be 7 years old this summer. I found him through a newspaper ad. A woman in Virden had a shih tzu that had a litter of SIX black shih tzu puppies and I HAD to have one. He was $300 and that was a steal of a price. Now I realize why he was so cheap. He's dumb. He's weird. He eats his poop, cat poop, his vomit, cat vomit...... all manner of disgusting things dogs can sometimes eat. He has separation anxiety from me and would literally die if something happened to me. He follows me all over the house and panics when I'm not around. I give him shit constantly and always tell him I'm going to trade him in for a real dog. All kidding aside, he's loyal, loves his family and would fight to the death to protect us.

Here we have Butters. Butters was a stray kitten my coworker found at her house. She could not keep him so I took him in. He's 2 years old and he is the weirdest cat I have ever had in my life. There are no words to describe him but weird. He only really likes me, he is skittish AF, he hates being inside, but when he is inside overnight all he does is yowl like a female cat in heat or lays by the side of my head and purrs.

Sammy (left) and Little Miss (right). These two kittens were a complete and total whim adoption from the APL. Why did I go there that day? Why did I adopt them? I have NO idea. It just happened. They will be a year old this month and they are super sweet and affectionate. Sammy, or as we call him Sammy Shitbags, loves attention. He begs for it. You could pet that cat all day and he'd be the happiest cat in the world. Little Miss is.... a little more crazy. She is a tortoise shell after all. All torties are crazy. She wants attention on her terms and that's usually in the middle of the night when she climbs all over me and tries to lick/nibble my ears, nose, or lips. It's very weird...... I adore these two so it infuriates me when they always run outside.

Cats are assholes.

So there you have it. My furbabies. At any given time we can have all 5 of them in the house or just Walter in the house. I don't want the kittens to be outside, but they're so damn FAST and my kids don't understand shutting the door quickly when they go outside to play. In fact, sometimes Carson swings the screen door open and doesn't shut it (it's broken at the moment and doesn't shut on it's own). I should probably add that to my "things to fix while home" list.

Project 333

Ok, I know what you’re thinking. What weird thing is Becky into this time? I have been a fan of Courtney Carver since The Minimalists spoke of her and her book Soulful Simplicity. In that book, she speaks briefly of her capsule wardrobe and her Project 333 Challenge. 33 clothing items for 3 months.

Items include:
Clothing
Shoes
Bags
Jewelry
Scarves
Coats
Hats

The reason it is for 3 months is because of changing weather. Obviously your summer Project 333 is going to look different than your winter one. Especially when you live in a place that experiences such drastic weather changes, which I do.

Items NOT included:
Wedding ring
Workout clothes ONLY if you use them for exercise
Work Uniforms (for me, black pants, white shirt, black sweater, black shoes)
Socks
Underwear/Bras
Undershirts
Pajamas/Lounge clothes you would NOT go out in public in

My closet. The first 7 pieces are my “uniform”. I have 7 t-shirts,  2 blouses, and 3 long sleeved shirts. 

That puts me at 12 items. I then have 1 pair of jeans, 4 pairs of long leggings and 2 pairs of capris leggings.
19 items.
1 pair of short boots, 1 pair of tall boots, 2 pairs of sandals and 1 pair of tennis shoes.
24 items.
2 purses, 1 tote bag, 6 pairs of earrings.
33 items.

There you have it. I have to say, it was insanely easy for me to purge items from my closet since over half of the clothes were way too big. This will continue to happen, however, I am happy that the pieces I have will work for my next two sizes down. They’ll just be a bit roomy.

Why am I doing this? Well, once again, I am huge into being more minimal in my life. I have so much less stress and worry when I am not surrounded by so much stuff. The items I have chosen for my 33 items make me happy. I feel good in all of my clothes. I look good in all of my clothes. They all fit me well, they’re all comfortable and at any given time I never say “I don’t have anything to wear!” It will save me time, money, stress and most of all... it will save me from myself and my criticizing thoughts. When you enjoy everything you wear and you feel good in it, the positive thoughts roll right in. Trust me.

I encourage you to check out the book Project 333 and to look into your own closet situation. How many things are just hanging there that you never wear? That are uncomfortable? That still have the tag on it?? How many shoes do you own that kill your feet but you just HAD to have them??

Just think about it. There's no harm in that.

Autism

I think I have been needing to do this post for awhile now. Everything kind of builds up and then I end up just having word vomit moments on Facebook OR I cry. I cry a lot.

As all of you should know, Carson was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 3 with a Global Developmental Delay. In other words, severe autism. That was back at the beginning of 2018. My whole world came crashing down. I realize that Autism is not a death sentence and my child was 100% physically healthy but that didn’t make the diagnosis any easier. It still hurt. It hurt A LOT. The life I had pictured for my child was gone. The blame was strong. Did I do this? Did I cause this? Could I have been better during my pregnancy?

I will take this moment to say I do not for one second believe that vaccinations caused Carson’s autism. Carson showed signs of autism very, VERY early. Besides, even if they did (which again I don’t think so) I’d rather have a healthy child than a sick/dead one. I’d go back and give him all those vaccinations again. Period. I’m not here for a debate either. This is just what I believe about MY child. You believe what you want to about yours.

Anyway, after that diagnosis my life was bombarded with appointments, phone calls, evaluations, therapy, insurance approvals, waiting lists... on and on and on. How was I supposed to work and juggle the rest of my life knowing that I had all of this going on? Poor Dean.... he was only a year old and I felt like he was on the back burner. I felt like a horrible mom because I didn’t know what to do for Carson and I felt like an even more horrible mom because I was spending more time worrying about Carson than spending time with Dean. I also spent this time eating my feelings, spending ALL the money I didn’t have, getting myself into horrible debt again, and neglecting myself. I was completely lost. Drowning. No one could pull me out.

Then Hope happened. A beautiful woman named Carli and a place called Hope. 35 hours of ABA therapy every week for Carson and life finally started looking up.

But wait. What’s that? There’s a movement of people against ABA Therapy?? But why? Why are people so against what it helping my son? Now I’m even more confused. Should I have my son in ABA? Should I pull him out? If I pull him out, what are his chances of speaking, learning, stopping aggressive behaviors?

I still don’t know what is 100% best for Carson. He is still in ABA and we get in home services which are HUGE. However, there’s that part of me that wonders if I’m doing him more harm than good because of the amount of people saying ABA is horrible. But is it? I’ve seen my kids at their clinic and if it’s horrible...... they’re sure happy about it and having a good time.

Now, this brings me to Dean. Dean received an Autism Diagnosis in the summer of 2019. However, Dean was only mimicking his older brother! You see, Dean was picking up on all of Carson’s stimming behaviors, movements, “speech”..... and therefore he seemed autistic. Well, he’s NOT. Dean is your typical, crazy, full of energy, tantrum throwing 3 year old. Boy, can he throw some tantrums.

Dean still gets services though because he is delayed in speech and OT and we think he might have a bit of ADHD.

The biggest things I wish people would understand is that Carson is a 5 year old child stuck in the mentality of a 2-3 year old. I don’t know when he’ll go to school, I don’t know when he’ll be potty trained, I don’t know if he’ll ever sleep through the night, I don’t know if he’ll ever stop his aggression, I don’t know what he’s feeling or thinking EVER and he cannot tell me, I don’t know if he’ll ever communicate fully or if we’ll use pictures and tablets for his whole life. I don’t know if he’ll ever live on his own or be able to have a job.

What I do know is that I love him. I love him with my whole heart, body and soul. He’s so funny, he’s sweet (mostly), and he adores his family. I will continue to fight for him and do everything I can to make him happy in his life.

I know I can continue going one day at a time.

It’s Been a Year

I have not done a blog post since last February. It has really been one year since I checked in here. The good news is, Andrew and I are only in $1,200 worth of debt one year later and it will be paid off this month. It is my van. The only other debt we will have is the house. It’s amazing how much of a difference one year can make. We will be 100% debt free minus the house. FINALLY. After 13 years of working and paying and budgeting.... we are here.

The biggest thing now is, well, me. I have to make sure I still stick to a budget even though we’re out of debt. I need to be smart with money. We can start making extra payments on the house. We can save up for vacations or something nice. It’s going to be so wonderful. I have to stay on track, though. We all know I am the one that gets easily distracted.

Carson and Dean will be starting a new Autism Clinic on Monday! I have been waiting for this day for a couple of months now. I am so excited for them. They do so well when they’re in ABA. I know ABA is a controversial topic, but for my boys? It’s helping. They’re thriving. Dangerous behaviors almost disappear when they’re in ABA. I’m very thankful for that.

I want to do another purge of stuff in our house. I know Andrew just loves that. I’m feeling crowded and overwhelmed again so I know it’s something I need to do. Minimalism is still something I strive for.

I quit Hy Vee after 4 years. Was I mad at them? No. Was I unhappy in accounting? No. I just needed something that worked better for my situation with my foot and my kids. I found a part time job working at Butler Funeral Homes in their administrative office and I love it there. It is an amazing company to work for and the schedule works out perfectly for what we need as a family. I work 8-5, two days a week, no weekends. Holidays are an on call rotation and so far, I haven’t had to go in.

The only other big update I have is that on January 13, 2020 I had a Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy. VSG surgery if you will. It’s a bariatric procedure that removes 70-80% of your stomach to assist in weight loss. I am 3 weeks post op and I am doing well. It’s been one of the hardest things I have ever done and it takes a lot of planning and patience..... but I am glad I did it. I’ve lost almost 30 pounds so far and I already feel better physically than I have in a long time. I had been working towards this procedure since August of 2019. To anyone that says this is an easy way out....... you can shut up because you have NO idea how hard this has been or how hard it will continue to be. Once I’m close to a year out - the magic is gone. Yes, the stomach is still small.... but it can easily be stretched back out and I could easily fall back into old habits and gain the weight back. It’s just as hard to lose weight this way as it is any other way - it just physically keeps me from overeating. I puke if I eat too fast. I puke if I drink too fast. I puke if my stomach doesn’t like the food I put in it..... there’s a lot of pain and a lot of puking. But again, I don’t regret it...... most days.