One Year Post Op: Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy

 On January 13, 2020, I had a Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy. VSG, if you will. A weight loss surgery that removes about 80% of your stomach leaving behind a tiny banana shaped pouch. 

I decided I wanted to investigate this surgery and my chances of being approved for it in August of 2019. I asked my doctor for a referral to the Weightloss and Wellness Center of Springfield. She was more than happy to refer me as she knows how much I have always struggled with my weight. During my first set of appointments, one with a behavioral health professional, a nurse practitioner, a dietician, and a physical therapist... I found out that I qualified for the surgery and for insurance to cover it. This didn't necessarily make me happy. This news meant that I fit the profile of a morbidly obese person and could have an invasive surgery to completely change the natural size of my stomach. It didn't deter me though. I went to every class, every appointment, kept journals and logs, exercised, proved that I was worthy to be a part of the program to change my life. 

The day I got the call with my surgery date, I was sitting inside of Head West sub shop about to dive in to my delicious vegetable sub (add banana peppers), and I was beside myself with excitement. The few people in the sub shop probably thought I was a nut. I called my husband and my mom and said "This is it. I'm doing it. I'm scheduled for 1/13/2020." My mom, husband, and employer were the only people that knew I was even doing this. I did not make it public knowledge. Not for fear of judgement. Y'all can shove your judgement up ya butts.... I didn't make it public knowledge because it was SO personal to me and such a "me only" choice. I didn't want everyone's opinions on the matter. Therefore, the world found out AFTER I had the surgery. 

My highest weight was 12/5/2014. The day after I had Carson I was 284.4 pounds. I was 15.6 pounds away from 300. That shook me to my core. Granted, I had just had a baby.... but the fact that I allowed myself to get that big.... AGAIN.... it broke me. I'm not going to go into the details of my depression after Carson and how hard being a mom was.... but my weight was a big part of that depression and I'll never get those beginning days with Carson back. I wish I would have looked past all of that and just focused on my sweet boy.... but we can't live in the past. 

1.3.2015 - Heaviest Weight 280 lbs

So, from 2014 to 2016 I obsessed over my weight and food... again. For the millionth time in my life. 2014 is when I started to really get into a plant based lifestyle. Not perfectly, of course. No one is perfect. 

In June of 2016, I got pregnant with Dean. I was still big, yes, but not as big as I was with Carson. With Dean, I ate a completely vegetarian diet. I was so much healthier with Dean and his pregnancy was so much easier. However, I stayed in the 260's when he was born. I got myself down to 240ish when he was about 9 months old. 

Then Carson got his autism diagnosis in February of 2018. 

I spiraled. 

6.6.2018 - Around 270 lbs

Again, not going to get into all of that, but it wasn't a good time in my life. I gained that little weight I had lost back AND got myself into horrible debt.... again.... (seeing a pattern here?) 

So, in 2019 I made that decision to try something else to help me get healthy again. A decision that could only be mine. 

I don't regret it. 

I am one year post op. My starting weight was 268.1. My BMI was 40.5. 

Today, I am 191. My BMI is 29. I've lost over 40" off of my body. 

268.1 pounds to 195 pounds

I feel better. That is what's most important to me. I no longer feel like I want to crawl out of my skin. I can cross my legs and fit places better. I feel healthier and have more energy. 

For the last several months I have hovered between 187 - 191. It discourages me a little, but it also makes me happy that I am able to maintain this weight without a lot of effort. Do I want to lose more? Sure. I'm not going for supermodel skinny here, but I'd like to be in a healthy BMI and I'd LOVE to get rid of the excess skin hanging around my midsection that causes me rashes and a whole lot of discomfort. 

I have a consult appointment with a plastic surgeon on 3.19.2021

I cannot wait. 

Almost One Year

 It's been almost a year since I did a blog post. I'm not 100% sure why I stop completely. Probably because of finding the time to actually do it. 

It is currently 4:36 p.m. I am sitting on the couch with Carson while he plays his favorite game on his tablet. Dean is sitting at the desk eating Velveeta shells and cheese while he plays on his iPod. It's that "wind down" from school before dinner and bedtime routines. Carson did in home ABA today because we are really focusing on potty training him fully. He just walked away from me and I said "Carson, let's go to the bathroom." to which he responded with a very firm "NO." and shut his bedroom door. Six year old autism is definitely more difficult than 3 or 4 year old autism. Also, if Dean doesn't stop saying "awww, dammit.", I am going to get in trouble. Little turd. Then again, it's probably better than some of the things he could be repeating. 

Today's "Ta-Da" list includes:

• Walter to the groomer
• Dropping off a check to the real estate company (earnest money)
• In home ABA with Carson
• Cleaning out the garage/backyard and filling up the dumpster I rented last week. 
• Cleaning out the inside of the house and filling up the dumpster even more.
• Dishes
• Laundry
• All the cooking (my kids are always hungry)
• Picking up Dean
• Picking up Walter
• More dishes and laundry

I saw someone on IG post about doing a "ta-da" list instead of a to-do list. I liked that idea a lot. I get to show myself that I was pretty productive..... my exhaustion kind of tells me that too, though. 

So... what's left for the night? Dinner, dinner clean up, time with the boys, and bedtime. I would also like to read a little and write in my journal. 

I hate bedtime. Well, scratch that, I don't hate bedtime, I hate that my almost 4 year old NEVER sleeps through the night. He always wakes up around midnight, 2:00 am, 4:00 am, and 6:00 am. It's INFURIATING. 

Throw in an autistic child who doesn't sleep well and you've got the makings of one tired and crabby momma lady. 

Because you know what happens around 2:00 or 4:00 in the morning? My brain starts thinking about ALL OF THE THINGS IN THE UNIVERSE. You think it's possible to go back to sleep when that happens? No. I have a strict rule of not grabbing my phone when I'm awake at that hour. I know full well that looking at a screen just makes things worse.... but then I am left alone with my wandering thoughts and I honestly don't know what's worse at that point. The screen or my own head. 

So, any suggestions on getting a 4 year old to stop waking up frequently in the night.... pass them my way. However, if you mention essential oils to me I will lose my shit. We've tried those and they're useless. Ok? Thanks.