Friday Weigh In: I Love My Husband

When Andrew and I got married, I looked like this:

I had gone from 250 down to 159.2. 90.8 pounds lost in about 5 years. I lost most of it from 2007-2010 and then maintained it through the wedding and honeymoon in 2011. Andrew was so supportive during the time it took me to lose that weight. He dated me when I was bigger, watched me get smaller, and then supported me and my lifestyle to help me stay at that weight. 

Now here I am. I almost, ALMOST, gained that 90.8 pounds back. It seems so strange how quickly it goes on but guess what? I gained that weight in a 2 year span. It really isn't that crazy once you think about it. I didn't gain it over night and I'm not going to lose it over night. 

My husband has never said anything to me about gaining almost all of the weight back. He has never said he didn't love me anymore, he has never said that I'm hideous or fat, he has never been demeaning in any way. He stands by my side and tells me that he loves me. He knows I'm not happy and he just wants me to be happy again. He has said that numerous times to me. He wants me to be happy, be active, be the person I was when we were getting ready to be married and he always asks how he can help. I'm so thankful for him every single day because he makes me feel good regardless of how I feel about myself. He's even helped me to set some goals and rewards for when I hit certain milestones. 

This is the most recent grouping of photographs that I have of Andrew and I from Valerie's wedding that was in October. I've lost weight since then - but it is about how I look right now. And you know what? That's who I am right now. This is the hardest thing to accept when you're bigger but I can accept it. That is how I look right now, it does not define me or who I am as a person. It does not dictate my talents and my abilities in life. It is just how I look. I FEEL healthy (most days). I'm still eating the right foods and taking care of myself the way I know how and I will get to a point where I'm happy in my skin again. But right now, that's me. I'm happy with me. I love myself and what I have to offer and some extra pounds are NOT going to make me hate myself anymore. 

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Friday Weigh In & Foodie Food:

Weigh In: -1.9

Total Lost: 10.3

Left to Lose: 89.7

Woohoo! Hit that 10 pound milestone! I'm in a new decade too! I didn't really set a reward for losing 10 pounds but I'm super excited and am going to try to convince Andrew to let me get some primer from Ulta. I'm almost out of my Benefit Pore-fessional! 

Yesterday went really well. We ended up having Wendy's before Orchestra and I had enough points for everything I got and then didn't eat the rest of the evening. I wasn't hungry at all. I was mostly tired. I think I made myself tired because I kept thinking about how awesome my pillow and sleep mask were. Ha! I made myself stay awake until 10:00 by reading and watching my favorite make up gals on YouTube and then called it a night. I was asleep almost instantly. That never happens to me! I woke up one minute before my alarm went off. Haha! 

Today's Menu:

B: 1 c Horizon organic milk, Chobani Flip blueberry power

S: Cheese Sticks

L: Tortellini soup, salad with homemade dressing, dark chocolate square 

S: RF Wheat Thins and a Laughing Cow cheese wedge

D: Fresh salmon, baked potato, broccoli

Activity: Nada

Andrew told me last night on our way to orchestra that he will support me and exercise in the mornings before work if I do. I'd love to be a morning workout person because then it's done, out of the way, and when I get home from work I can just veg out. So, we'll kick off on Monday by getting up at 5:30 and doing some kind of exercise. Most likely a DVD until the weather gets nicer. (We're in a winter storm watch until Monday now.....) I told him to check out T25 as well. Just in case we sleep a little longer than 5:30 and don't have as much time. A kickass 25 minute workout would be spectacular for those mornings. 

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I have nothing else to update besides we are probably going to be hermits this weekend because of the weather. We were invited to a birthday celebration this weekend which isn't far from our apartment so we will probably still make that - unless it is absolutely terrible out. I know Andrew has his heart set on Osaka... he's love the Hibachi..... 

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone. Stay warm!!!

Love Like Winter

♪♫Warn your warmth to turn away.♪♫

♫♪Here it's December... everyday.♫♪

Little AFI for you there. If you've never heard the song "Love Like Winter" go listen to it now. Go. I'll wait. 

I just think of that song a lot when it's cold out. It is also off the album Decemberunderground. Kind of fitting for the cold weather don't you think? I love AFI. They are one of my favorite bands and I'm currently listening to them and only them in my car. His voice is so unique, I can't seem to get enough of it. 

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Foodie Food:

Yesterday went really well. Since I had gone to the store I was prepared for any crazy hunger pangs. Plus having my meals all planned out always helps. I grilled up my portobella mushroom caps and they were delicious! I got really lucky because at the very end of grilling them my tank ran out of propane. BOO! 

I put on 1 oz of reduced fat swiss cheese and some BBQ sauce. I ate it on a whole wheat sandwich thin and it was absolutely delicious. Plus, it was SUPER filling. I was stuffed after I finished eating. I had also made tortellini soup to have with it and that was, of course, very yummy. 

Today's Menu:

B: Cinnamon Raisin Bagel, 1 T cream cheese, 1 c organic milk, 1 egg

S: Cheese Sticks

L: Tortellini Soup, the other mushroom cap with swiss and BBQ, WW Dark Chocolates

S: 16 RF Wheat Thins, Laughing Cow cheese wedge

D: TBD

Activity: Nada, it is orchestra night

Andrew and I usually go somewhere for dinner on Thursday since it is orchestra night at UIS. I'm not sure where he wants to go but I'm hoping for something easy like Subway. 

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Other Things:

I had the best night of sleep I have had in a very long time. I had gotten Andrew a nice pillow for Christmas and he goes on and on about how awesome it is and how he doesn't have neck or back pain anymore. So, I decided to get myself one. It is and ISO Cool pillow. Here's a link. It is magical. I also thought to myself, why not get a sleep mask? Sometimes I go to bed earlier than Andrew and then he comes in and reads for a bit and the light distracts me. So I added this to my cart. Normally I don't like sleep masks because I find them to be uncomfortable and they fall off. Not this one. It stayed on perfectly and I barely knew it was there. (Plus it's cute.) I fell asleep around 9:30pm and didn't wake up until 6:20am when my alarm went off. I haven't sleep that soundly in a very, VERY, long time. I'm super happy with my purchases and I'm looking forward to going to bed tonight. HA! 

WALTER!

So precious. He was very well behaved last night... until he peed on the floor right before bed. It is frustrating. I have devised this plan where I take him outside every two to three hours since he's still a puppy. He'll have to learn to go longer periods of time between potty breaks once he's older, like Caesar does, but for now I'm able to do this schedule for him. Well, it was coming up on that two hour mark and since I was getting ready for bed I was getting all bundled up to take him out. Nope, he couldn't wait two more seconds. Silly dog. We'll get there eventually.... I hope sooner than later. 

Quick Post

I don't have any pictures or much fun to talk about today. Sorry folks! I have a huge Economics Exam that I have to get done this week and I need to spend majority of my time studying for that. Will I? Probably not.... but I should....

I meet with Linda this afternoon and I should go home and study after that.... I actually might because Andrew will be home doing homework before his class tonight. Too bad we aren't studying the same things!

I went to the grocery store last night and stocked up on all sorts of delicious foods. That is my biggest problem with WeightWatchers or losing weight in general. When I don't have the right foods in my house I am a mess. I need to stop procrastinating my grocery trips and just go. I should not have put it off for as long as I did.
I had read an article in WW magazine yesterday about substituting mushrooms for meat. Why have I never thought of this before? I've had portobella mushroom "burgers" before. After verifying with my vegetarian cousin Amber, she says she does that a lot. Even in chili! It is like Schnuck's knew I wanted mushrooms too because they had some fabulous looking ones on sale. I'm excited about them.

Today's Menu:
B: Egg on a sandwich thin with swiss laughing cow cheese, 1 c organic milk, earl grey tea
S: 2 Colby Jack cheese sticks
L: Jar salad (lettuce, cucumber, dressing), Lean Cuisine cheese and jalapeno stuffed pretzel bites (cannot wait to try those), dark chocolate square
S: Mini sweet peppers with hummus
D: Portobella Mushroom burger with swiss cheese and BBQ sauce, small bowl of tortellini soup
Activity: ???

Again, I should get up and move at some point tonight. I should do it while Andrew is in class.....

Listen Cold Weather

GO AWAY!
The end.
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Foodie Food:
Where to begin? I had such wonderful days and then last night into today has been a train wreck. Hi, my name is Becky and sometimes I'm a bottomless pit of food consumption. Last night I had ramen with tofu, ok, not great but not horrible... but then I ended the evening with dark chocolate, popcorn, and fudge. Then today I decided Taco Bell was a fabulous idea after I ate some popcorn, dark chocolate, and peanut M&Ms I got from the candy machine. I got a Mexican Pizza with just beans and a Diet Pepsi. I guess that could have been much worse but what makes it horrible is that I HAD A HEALTHY LUNCH PACKED. GRRR. ARRRGH. (to you Buffy fans out there.....)

Bebe posted yet another blog entry that I can relate 100% to and again I am so glad I am not alone out there with these issues. I want, wish, and strive to better myself but always self sabotage. It's incredibly annoying. It is just food for crying out loud. It isn't as glorious as my mind seems to make it out to be. It is fuel, it is there to keep me alive and help me keep energy through the day. Food isn't going to stop existing and I don't need to be so consumed by it all.of.the.time.

Today's Menu:
B: Cinnamon Raisin Bagel with cream cheese, coffee
S: Popcorn, dark chocolate square, strawberries
L: Mexican Pizza (no meat), diet pepsi, peanut M&Ms
S: Nada
D: TBD
Activity: TBD

I need to make something healthy and I need to exercise. I have tilapia in the freezer that I can broil and veggies I can cook. I have DVDs I can do or bundle myself up and go walk outside. I have to do something before I lose my mind! I'm supposed to run a half marathon in about a month. I am NOT ready for it at all. That is disappointing.
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Sorry for the frumpy post. I think I just needed to vent a little bit..... so thank you for letting me.

Weekend Recap: Saturday Weigh In

Another weekend come and gone and we are back to the daily grind. My weekend was busy but very fun and I wouldn't trade what we did for anything. Tuning the 9' Steinway Grand was mind blowing. I have seen quite a few baby grand pianos and 6' - 7' grand pianos but never a full size concert grand.... a Steinway on top of that. It values at about $137,000. Who wants one?!

Andrew and I had some delicious Thai food for dinner, and I had two glasses of wine, and then we went back to Sangamon Auditorium to wait backstage to get our tickets. The show was really neat and I am glad we went! We talked with Yona a bit afterwards and then headed home to take care of the babies since they had been home alone for quite awhile!

I actually got to be pretty lazy on Sunday morning but then the day picked up as I got some lunch ready and then headed out for my violin lesson. We are only supposed to meet for 45 minutes but sometimes she keeps me for about an hour and fifteen minutes. I don't mind at all because she is teaching me some great little tricks. I then spent some of Sunday night practicing because we went to Andrew's parent's house for a bit and by 9:00 I was pooped. My body hurt from playing my violin so much and I was tired from running around so much all weekend. I didn't have any trouble falling asleep last night!
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Weigh In & Foodie Food:
I did really well this weekend as far as food goes. I didn't snack at all (because I was so busy) and all of my meals were planned and delicious! Even the wine was planned. I ended my weekend with 11 WPs leftover and I earned 3 APs from all the running around.

Saturday Weigh In:
Weigh in: -0.5
Total Lost: 8.4
Left to lose: 91.6

I lost another half a pound! I was very shocked by that because I didn't eat/drink the best on Friday night but I'll take it! Haha. I'm getting closer to a new decade of numbers and I'm very excited about that.

Today's Menu:
B: Cinnamon Raisin Bagel with cream cheese, earl grey tea
S: Chobani Flip Key Lime
L: Jimmy John's - Veggie with no mayo, thinny chips, strawberries & a WW cupcake (made yesterday)
S: Nada, probably won't be hungry... have an apple just in case
D: Fried tofu and a salad
Activity: ???

I'm so tired right now. Since the weekend was so hectic I kind of want to take tonight to relax a little bit.
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I have a big Economics Exam that will be posted tomorrow. I should probably study for that. I seem to be doomed to get 11 out of 15 points on all of the quizzes I take. It is kind of ridiculous. Every single quiz (there have been 5 now) I have gotten an 11 out of 15. I'm cursed.

I don't have much else to update, kiddos. Not too much exciting going on in the world of Becky right now!

Happy Friday!

Ahhhh. Another glorious weekend right around the corner. Only 5.5 hours to go! But who's counting? I am super excited about this weekend even though it will be a little busier than ususal.

Tonight mom, dad and Mia Pia Puddin' Pie are coming over and we're going to have dinner and hang out for a bit. I haven't seen my parent's in awhile so it will be nice!
Tomorrow I have a WW Meeting at 9:00 and then Andrew has to go out to Sangamon Auditorium at UIS to tune the 9' Grand Piano in the afternoon for the Symphony concert tomorrow night that we are going to! Since I'm part of the chamber orchestra at UIS, Dr. Stamatis can get us tickets for free. I'm very excited. I haven't been to a symphony concert (usually I'm in them) in so long! After tuning the piano, we will go out for some dinner and a few drinks and then head back for the show.
Sunday I have my violin lesson with Dr. Stamatis at 2:15 and I'm looking forward to that because I got some excellent news last night.

We got to orchestra and I got myself all set up in the second violin section. When Yona arrived she pulled me aside and said "I want to ask you something." She asked me if I'd be a first violin instead of a second violin! I was so happy. She sent me an email late last night that said I did wonderfully and she could hear the balance in the group now and hopes I choose to stay in that section. I really couldn't be happier. I kind of have a mental block when it comes to me playing the violin that I'm not good enough or that I don't even deserve to be in the first violin section; but she asked me and I was so flattered and excited! Yay!

I also got my new toy last night. All in all, I had a fabulous Thursday Evening.

I got the 32GB, White, iPad Air, like I said I would, and then got a keyboard case for it. I love the keyboard case. It is fantastic and it is back lit. As you can see I've already thrown some apps on there but I'm not sure what other ones I want. I'm going to keep playing around to see what I like! I've already had a blast responding to emails and doing homework on it. I also read some on it last night and the bigger screen is magical. Just magical. The picture is gorgeous on it too. I'm very pleased by the battery life as well. I've used it almost non stop this morning and it still has over 90% battery life. That's including banking, WW, games, email, iMessages and a YouTube speech I had to watch for school. 

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Foodie Food:

Last night Andrew and I went to Subway for dinner before orchestra and I had a veggie flatbread. It was amazing. Sometimes at Subway they're really stingy on the veggies but the guy who made my sandwich last night filled it so full it almost didn't fold over.

Today's Menu:

B: Spicy Black Bean burger on toast, tea (I wasn't feeling trendy breakfast today)

S: String Cheese

L: Tortellini Soup, baked potato, dark chocolate square

S: Chobani Key Lime Flip, strawberries

D: TBD - depends on what mom and dad want

Activity: Nada

I earned an Activity Point yesterday from all the running around we did after I got off work. The poor dogs were restless last night because we didn't get home until after 8:30. Walter was a terror... but with good reason.

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I have nothing else to update kiddos! Just a happy camper over here and ready for a fabulous weekend with my family and my wonderful husband!

Psst.... I'm Gonna Get an iPad

SQUEE! I've been wanting and iPad ever since they came out. You'd think the fascination with them would have died out after that many years but I'm still as adamant as every that I want one of these fun gadgets. I've looked at other tablets and even have a Kindle Fire; but the obsession with wanting an iPad is still there. I FINALLY get to have one. Andrew has felt so strongly about me not getting one that I have fulfilled his wishes for years and haven't gotten one. However, it is finally time. He has given in. I am going to get the 32GB iPad Air. In white of course. Then I want to get this little decal:

I ♥ Yoshi

Anyway, the iPad will mainly be for school but really... it will be for anything I want it to be. I will read a lot on it too. I told Andrew I was going to donate my Kindle Fire to him. 

I also got this amazingly awesome bag so I can carry my iPad with me:

I love it. It holds all of my stuff and it has a padded pouch for the tablet. It is super cute inside too:

I'm  holding open the padded area for a tablet. Such a cute interior!

Ok, enough about all that. I'm not trying to be like "Oh, look at me, I'm getting an iPad." I'm more like "HOLY SHIT I FINALLY GET AN IPAD AND I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT IT." 

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Foodie Food:

Last night I made Gina's Spinach Tortellini Soup (minus the meatballs) and it was absolutely one of the most delicious soups I've ever had. YUM. 

*drool*

I cannot wait to have this again for lunch. I will make this again, and again, and again, and again.... and again. And now I'm going to do a product plug:

Do you hate chopping up vegetables? Slicing them? Preparing them to cook in any way? I do. Dicing an onion is one of my most hated activities when cooking. Dicing anything for that matter. This soup recipe called for celery, onion and carrots:

See how beautifully diced those are? 

I know there are a TON of different dicers on the market but I got mine from Avon. That's right. Avon. 

It comes with the plastic container that catches it all, different sized grate and even round ones for apples tomatoes, etc. It also came with a grater and a a mandolin slicing tool. It is amazing and cost me a whopping $19.99. I put the veggie or fruit on the dicer, I push the lid down, ta-dah! Instant diced veggies. 

If you are interested in this product, please check this link to order your own! (FYI, it is on backorder right now because it is so popular.)

I also used the mandolin slicer to slice up apples to make apple chips:

2 Apples (I used granny smith)

1 tsp cinnamon

Lay them out on a baking sheet covered with parchment paper, do not overlap

200º oven

Bake an hour, flip, bake another hour, flip, bake another hour, flip, continue this process until the chips are the consistency you want. 

They make a marvelous snack! 

Today's Menu:

B: Chobani Flip Yogurt, Green Juice, Earl Grey tea

S: Apple Chips

L: Tortellini Soup, goldfish crackers, strawberries, 1 square dark chocolate

S: Cucumber slices, string cheese

D: Subway Veggie Delight on Flatbread

Activity: Nada

My green juice today had green apples, spinach, and kiwi. 

No activity today because Andrew and I have chamber orchestra tonight and then we're going to Best Buy for my iPad. Can I say SQUEE one more time? SQUEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Feeling Good & a Little Soul Searching

I really don't want to jinx it after the way my last week has gone (tummy issues) but today I feel the best I have all week. I think whatever is wrong with me is finally moving out.... and good riddance! I'm enjoying some wonderful Earl Grey tea with a smile on my face because life is good. I've also completed all of the work I had in my tray at the office and now I'm just waiting for the next thing to happen.
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Foodie Food & Fitness:
I am not going to lie, I was nauseous around 3:00 yesterday. I ate some saltine crackers and drank as much water as I could handle. When I got home from work the only thing that sounded good was broccoli or cauliflower. Weird right? I wanted boiled vegetables. I wanted them all smushy too. All I had in the freezer was cauliflower. I ate the whole bag. Then around 6:30 I decided that a baked potato sounded good and since I had baked all of my potatoes up already it was easy to enjoy one. So, I had a potato and cauliflower for dinner. I ate nothing else the rest of the night. Go me?

Today's Menu:
B: Special K cereal, 1 c. milk, tea
S: String Cheese
L: Baked potato with black beans and salsa, dark chocolate square
S: Cucumber slices
D: Spinach Tortellini Soup
I am going to make the soup without the turkey meatballs so it will just be a hearty spinach soup.

And yes, I know about the spinach recall that is going on and I have a list of the brands that are bad news. I will avoid them. I hope that the store has at least taken them off the shelf and put new out.... I won't be eating it raw though. I guess that's something right?

For activity I would like to do my DVD. I didn't last night because again, I was still nauseous. Hard to get motivated to do physical activity when every movement makes you feel like you're going to puke. I hope today is my day though. I'm tired of being a lazy waste of space.
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Other Things:
Ok, so maybe I wasn't a total waste of space last night. I spent over an hour practicing my violin. It isn't the same as my real violin but it still brings me the same joy. Since I live in an apartment, which I'm sure I've mentioned this before, I cannot play my actual violin. I have a Silent Violin. For those of you that don't know what that is, it is an electric violin that you can either plug headphones into or plug into an amp. Obviously me plugging it into an amp would defeat the purpose in the apartment. I play mine with headphones. It is not the best electric violin out there but it serves it purpose and fit my budget. I bought it over a year ago and it has definitely come in handy.

After playing for awhile, I finally decided I was tired/sore enough and wanted to watch some famous violinists on YouTube. As I watch these professionals I think "When I play do I make it look that easy?" "How come I can't make that sound?" "Boy I wish I could play like that...."
I probably could if I practiced all of the time and made the violin my life's work. However, that is probably not in the cards for me. I still do wonder though if when I am playing if people go "She makes it look so easy!" Let me tell you, it isn't. The violin has a lot to do with hearing the right notes, knowing where your fingers go without even having to think about it and how you bow is super important. That right there is the greatest challenge of all. How you bow bascially defines how your instrument is going to sound. So yes, there is technique in know all of the finger positions, shifting, and vibrato.... but without proper bowing you don't have much.
I think I am too tense when I play. Why? I don't know. When I was with Yona at my lesson she kept pushing down on my right shoulder and then pushing my left wrist to make it relax. I don't know when I developed such a tense form when playing but I am working very hard to relax. My husband, bless his heart, calls me a show off and tells me how good I sound. I appreciate that more than I can say, however, I know I can be even BETTER.
One regret I do have in life is not going to Millikin for Music Business as I had planned. Why did I back out? I don't know. The cost? The pressure? Being away from home? Not knowing what I'd do after I graduated? Did my weight hold me back? When I got my acceptance letter to Millikin I cried. I jumped around the kitchen shoving the letter in my parent's faces and cried. I was so happy! I wish I could go back to that point and time when I went "Nope! Not going!" I had a schedule, a dorm room, had auditioned and received a music talent award for $3,000/semester, and was all registered. I backed out at the last possible minute. I.Don't.Know.Why.

Life has a funny way of working out though. People always say it's never too late either. I still have gone to school, in a non traditional setting, I met my husband and have shared a wonderful life with him so far, but what if? What if I went back for music? What if I continued to study? What if I could be a part of a big, professional symphony?

What if?

I'm Not Preggo

I'm not. I peed on a stick. Well, actually I did it twice. I have been so incredibly nauseous lately that it was starting to concern me. However, the stick says that I am not preggo and I'm having my monthly visitor symptoms so I have a feeling she'll be visiting soon. I think I just have some kind of weird stomach bug and if I'm not better by Thursday (that will be the one week mark) then I will be going to the doctor. Something is wrong with my stomach and I do not appreciate it one bit. Nope. Not at all.

Also, sorry for the lack of updating. With the stupid weather the way it has been I haven't been at work and have been home in a curled up ball of self pity since I haven't felt very good.
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Foodie Food:
I've tried eating super healthy, I've tried eating junk, I've tried only eating crackers and carbs, I've tried NOT eating..... nothing helps my stomach dilemma. It is the worst at night. Yesterday I even had pizza and beer thinking "Fuck it. I'm not going to feel any worse than I usually do." Guess what? I didn't. I felt like I do even when I eat clean, healthy, nutritious foods. It is annoying.

Sunday's Menu:

Baked PB&J Oatmeal from The Oatmeal Artist

Huge salad, homemade dressing, and broiled tilapia

Tofu, black bean and salsa stuffed baked potato, broccoli, homemade applesauce

Ate all of that healthy food.... still felt like shit on Sunday night. Andrew had to go and get me some Diet 7-Up and Goldfish crackers..... because Goldfish crackers are medicinal. I don't care what you say. 

Today's Menu:

B: 2 eggs, 2 slices of toast, tea

S: String Cheese

L: Tuna salad sandwich (made with celery, hummus and pickles), cucumber slices, piece of dark chocolate

S: Quinoa with broccoli (I'm playing the empty out the fridge game)

D: TBD

Activity: Power Walk DVD

Andrew and I have been trying to use up as many leftovers as we can. I am thinking about doing stuffed potatoes again but I'm out of tofu. I can just do black beans and salsa though. It would still be really good! 

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Other Things:

SNOW DOG!

He's so stinking cute. Yesterday afternoon what was falling from the sky had the consistency of Dippin' Dots ice cream. Remember that stuff? It was so strange. Walter was having a blast though and I stood outside with him for a bit while he frolicked in the snow. Silly boy. Andrew and I had a Downton Abbey marathon  yesterday as well that was really nice. On crappy weather days when you're snowed in, the best thing to do is stay all bundled up at home relaxing. 

On Sunday afternoon I had a violin lesson with the chamber orchestra conductor. Her name is Dr. Yona Stamatis and she is wonderful. I haven't had a professional violin lesson since I was 17 years old. That was 11 years ago. (Blech) I was pleasantly surprised that she said I had retained some of what I had learned about technique and posture and that my bow hand was outstanding. However, even though I can still play well enough, my elbows and shoulders need some balancing out, my bowing technique needs practice and I need to focus on relaxing my left wrist/hand more. I'm kind of tense when I play and I'm not sure why. Hopefully these lessons will continue to help me improve. I'm very excited about them!

Other than that, not much else is happening. School is still going very well, and by that I mean I'm passing Economics so all is OK in the world. My other Economics classes I have taken I barely made it. This time I'm really trying, no matter how much certain aspects confuse me, and I'm doing fairly well. This class determines whether or not I can continue on with the online BBA program. Eek!

♥Friday Weigh In♥

Today's Weather:

Those cars have only been out there 2 hours. TWO. They're already getting buried.

Next Week's Weather:

Even though there is a blizzard outside today, I keep reminding myself that it'll be over soon and next week it should melt!!
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Friday Weigh In:

Weigh In: +/- 0
Total Lost: 7.9
Left to Lose: 92.1

I am very, VERY happy with the results. This was a rough week for me. I'm not quite sure why, but it was and with being so nauseous and only eating carbs (crackers, goldfish, noodles) I figured I would gain. That wasn't the case though and I'm very pleased.
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Foodie Food:
Yesterday I ate 2 HB eggs, goldfish crackers, saltine crackers, string cheese and soup. That's it. I drank a TON of water, some tea and some 7-Up. Thankfully I'm not feeling nauseous today at all and I'm thankful for that.

Today's Menu:
B: 2 HB eggs, Earl Grey Tea
S: Banana, String Cheese
L: Jar salad, 2 Dove hearts
S: Clementines & a protein bar (if I am hungry still)
D: TBD
Activity: TBD

Andrew and I technically celebrated Valentine's Day on Tuesday since we knew it wouldn't happen tonight. Not because of the snow... but because it is a Friday night and it's Valentine's Day. Every restaurant will be packed... if the snow doesn't deter them anyway. I will probably cook him up one of his filets and I will have tilapia. If not.... it'll be a leftover night. Depends on how I feel after work and if I want to cook.

Activity.... it is so hard to get motivated to do anything when the weather is like this. Just another reason to look forward to next week when it gets nicer. I can get outside again!
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Sorry for all of the short and boring posts. Not much has been going on that is all that exciting. I did get another Birchbox yesterday but didn't take pictures.... it had shampoo & conditioner, mascara, body cream, and perfume called "Hello". I love everything that came in the box. The mascara is really cool because it is fruit infused and it smells amazing. I have never had mascara that smelled good before. The shampoo and conditioner is pretty nice too. I like the way they smell and my hair is super soft today. And the body cream? *drool* Smells wonderful and is super creamy. Perfect for dry winter skin.

Being Nauseous Sucks

Yesterday I did not work because I had some appointments and figured it would be easier to not come in, then leave, then come back, then leave, etc. I am kind of glad I did stay home though because I was SUPER nauseous yesterday. I do not know how you pregnant women deal with morning/all day sickness because I was nauseous for one day and wanted to punch something. All I wanted to do was sleep because then I wouldn't have to deal with it. I did take a small nap in the afternoon and then I was in bed by 8:00. I thought taking a shower would help.. it didn't... saltine crackers and 7-Up seemed to do the trick though. I was able to fall asleep and stay asleep until about 4:45 in the morning. I got back to sleep though and woke up without any issues when my alarm went off. I don't feel nauseous today, but I don't have an appetite and my bowels aren't very happy.... sorry... TMI....
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Foodie Food:
Well, obviously yesterday wasn't bad food-wise because I couldn't eat. I had cereal for breakfast, cottage cheese and a few pretzels for lunch, a little green juice for a snack and then cottage cheese and Ramen for dinner. Nice huh? At about 8:30 I had the saltine crackers and 7-Up. There was no exercise yesterday either. *hurk*

Today's Menu:
B: Little Green Juice, 2 HB eggs, Earl Grey tea
S: I have string cheese... but I might not eat it
L: Jar salad, carrot apple ginger juice
S: Clementines
D: TBD
Activity: Rest Day

Tonight is chamber orchestra night. I think I want to go to Subway for dinner. If we go to orchestra. If my stomach keeps this up I'm just going home and burying myself under piles of blankets in bed.
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I'm boring today... sorry about that. Not feeling well kind of puts a damper on my ability to be really creative and post pretty pictures. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
♥you all.

R.I.P Shirley Temple

Andrew told me this morning that Shirley Temple passed away. This makes me very sad because I grew up watching her movies. Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm was always one of my favorites because, duh, she had my name in that one.

R.I.P. Shirley. You were such a big part of my childhood and I will always remember watching your movies and enjoying your beautiful smiling face.
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Foodie Food:
Well, we all know yesterday was kind of a disaster since I drowned myself in Girl Scout Cookies. The Peanut Butter Patties are evil. I ate 21PP worth of cookies. TWENTY-ONE. Needless to say, my cookie monster craved binge is over and I am cookie free as of yesterday afternoon. Andrew was instructed to hide the ones we have at home and the ones here at work are safely put where the guys will eat them. I made sure that I prepared food last night for today so I wouldn't be rushing around and packing unhealthy things in the morning. It is a good thing I did too... because I had SEVEN PILES of Walter poop to clean up this morning. Poor thing has eaten something that has upset his stomach and now he has the runs.... :( I had a crappy morning. Ha. Get it? Crappy? Ok.....

Last night I tried a Zumba video for the first time. I got about 30 minutes in and was wheezing so I figured I'd call it quits there and see how much farther I can work up to next time. Zumba is no joke. I think I burned more calories just messing up than actually doing the damn routine....

Today's Menu:
B: Mocha Overnight Oatmeal, Earl Grey Tea
S: String Cheese
L: Jar Salad made with homemade dressing, cucumber, bell pepper, quinoa, and lettuce, Chobani Flip Yogurt, Kiwi
S: PB&J Quest Bar
D: Pasta (one serving, I swear it), with tofu and a veggie of some sort
Activity: Power Walk DVD

I felt good after exercising yesterday and knew it is what I needed to bump up my energy. After I exercised I showered, dried my hair, and put on layers of lotion. I am so tired of this dry air.... seriously... and then I just lounged around waiting for Andrew to get back from class. We watched a little bit of The Lord of the Rings with the Rifftrax and then called it quits around 10:00 to go to bed. It was a nice night. We will probably finish watching the movie tonight after dinner and exercise.
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I♥Loose Leaf Tea
Our mall recently got a Teavana store. I have been once and it was amazing. I could spend all day in there looking at all of the different tea pots, cups, serving sets, and teas. I had purchased the Youthberry Tea with some Wile Orange Blossom tea mixed in, some cute tea cups, and I also picked up some German Rock Sugar. I have been drinking this tea a lot and last night when I posted this picture on Instagram:

A company called Par Avion Tea liked it. 

Well, since I am a tea lover I had to check this place out and oh my gosh! They sell some of the most amazing sounding teas. I want to order some really badly but will wait until I am done with my Youthberry tea. However, you can sign up for three free samples of tea and I suggest you do it if you have a strainer and love tea as much as I do! 

The ones I really want to buy are: Toasted Almond Cookie, Fifty Shades of Earl Grey, and the Madagascar Vanilla Bean. 

I think the first one I order will be the toasted almond cookie. I have plenty of Earl Grey tea bags right now to last me. Oh, and people always aske me where I got my tea strainer pot because it was so cheap... I got it from Avon believe it or not. They sometimes sell the pots and individual cup size tea strainers. So, if you know someone that sells Avon and want a strainer... check it out! They work really well and are much cheaper than what a lot of stores sell them for!

Girl Scout Cookies are the Devil

It is that time of year! I always try to avoid those cute little faces politely asking me if I want to buy some cookies but I just can't do it. I now have in my possession two boxes of peanut butter patties, 2 boxes of thin mints and a package of lemonades. Two of those boxes were obtained yesterday, the other three today.

I immediately wrote the PP value for the cookies on the box in hopes it would deter me from eating all of them in one sitting. I have had more than I should have today and gotten myself to only having 1 PP left for my dinner.... go me!
Devil.Cookies.
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Foodie Food:   
My weekend wasn't as bad as it could have been but it wasn't the best either. I'm just kind of "meh" about how everything went. Friday night was fine, Saturday morning was fine, but then we drove to Taylorville to visit my parents. That meant beer, non healthy foods and sweets. Mom had made up banana crumble cake and a pan of brownies. Luckily I was able to eat only one of each and I tracked them, but my six beers and baked fries I ate sucked up a lot of my weekly points.
Yesterday I had eggs and toast for breakfast, spinach, tofu, brown rice stir fry for lunch and tofu, broccoli and quinoa for dinner. For an evening snack I had popcorn and two way more cookies than I should have had.

Today's Menu:
B: 3 HB Eggs, Earl Grey Tea...... cookies
S: Cottage Cheese...... cookies
L: Boca Burger on bread, cucumber slices, Chobani Flip Vanilla Crumble...... cookies
S: Nada
D: TBD - something light! Obviously.
Activity: PowerWalk DVD

Over the weekend I did earn 5 Activity Points which helps out but it isn't enough to fix the cookie damage yet. Gotta keep going and get back at it.
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Walter visited the groomers yesterday!

So precious! I can actually see his eyes! He gets so shaggy around the eyes and paws. I love when he gets picked up from the groomer because he is so soft and absolutely adorable. I love that little guy so much. 

I don't, however, love that he pooped all over the floor in the middle of the night. Something he ate did not agree with him. Poor thing. :( 

Friday Weigh In

Good morning! It is Friday!! Last night Andrew and I had a fabulous evening and I got my wedding ring back from the jewelers. I was very excited about that. I went to have it cleaned and they told me I had a loose stone. That doesn't surprise me since I beat the living shit out of my hands on a daily basis. Got my ring back though and it looks brand new. That is the best part about them sending it off. It comes back and looks spectacular!

Andrew and I ended up not going to Chamber Orchestra. He was having anxiety and I was thinking about all of the other things I wanted to get done so we said that we'd skip out last night and just be back next week. Since we are volunteering our time to this orchestra it really isn't a huge deal. Now when I take it next semester it will be as a class and I will get credit for it. Therefore, I will never miss! After we had dinner we ran to the mall to get my ring and I got some more Quest Bars. I love them and always keep one in my purse for emergency situations where I'm hungry and there isn't anything healthy available. They pack a huge amount of protein and are delicious. Right now I have a PB&J one in my purse. Yum! After that we just wandered the mall for a bit and then ran to the grocery store so I could get some popcorn kernels. Then we headed home to hunker down with the animals. Other than meal prep for today I didn't do anything else the rest of the evening.
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Friday Weigh In:

Weigh In: -2.9
Total Lost: 7.9
Left to Lose: 92.1

Not too shabby!
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Foodie Food:
Yesterday went really well. Since I still have an active WW membership I decided to plan my day around counting points plus. I was right on target with my daily allowance and even had some to spare for a delicious evening snack. Last night I made this popcorn and I will never, ever, EVER make popcorn any other way ever again. If you don't click on that link and get the recipe you will hurt my feelings. Seriously. Click it. I will wait......... I cannot even begin to describe how delicious this was. The coconut oil really adds something special. I have loved coconut oil for awhile now, but never even thought to use it to make popcorn. And clarified butter? Perfect. So perfect I had some beggars:

"Can we haz popcorn too?"

Today's Menu:

B: Overnight Mocha Oatmeal, Earl Grey Tea

It was delicious. 

S: 3 clementines & some cucumber slices

L: Jar Salad with homemade dressing, tofu, cucumber, sunflower seeds and spinach, 1 oz pretzels and some cookies

S: 2 HB eggs

D: Tilapia, quinoa and spinach

Activity: TBD

I have no juices today since I didn't make any up last night. I will make some up for this weekend though. 

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I do not have much else to add. I am super happy that it is the weekend and plan to spend it being a lazy bum most of the time. Andrew mentioned wanting to go to Taylorville on Saturday so we might end up doing that. Just depends on how lazy I'm feeling or how involved in homework I get. I know I have a quiz on Saturday night so I might not end up wanting to go anywhere. Maybe we'll go tonight instead..... I dunno. We'll figure it out! 

Hope you all have a fanstastical weekend no matter what your plans!

I Really Need to Stop

I really need to stop comparing my life to that of other people's. It is really a hard thing to do, especially with social media these days. You can literally stalk all of your friends and acquaintances and know everything going on in their lives at any given time. I constantly sit and read my Facebook feed and see all of my friends and family and their houses, their children, how good they look, their jobs they love, and the wonderful vacations they take. It makes me feel like I am not supposed to be where I am in life and that I am some kind of failure. Like I was left behind while everyone else was progressing towards something better. Almost all of my friends have their own kids and Andrew and I don't, making our lives clash in differences of lifestyle choices and free time. I have a lot of pregnant friends right now. I am not pregnant and even though I'm wishy-washy about ever wanting kids, I don't have the urge to be pregnant right now. Almost everyone I know owns a house and I still rent a one bedroom apartment. A lot of people have their Bachelor's degrees that they got right out of high school and immediately went into the working world in their field of study. I still don't have a Bachelor's and work at a job (that I love) but I know is not my passion. A lot of my friends are healthy and thin. I am not. Don't even argue with me on this one. I'm tipping the scale at a whopping 245 pounds. I.am.fat. You can say it. You aren't going to hurt my feelings.

Saying all of that feels good. I like to get that kind of shit out of my head so I can re-read it and put things into perspective. My life is what it is supposed to be right now and I need to embrace that. My friends are (hopefully) happy in their lives and I need to be happy for them and support them. They are not me. I am not them. What I do in my life does not have to mimic what they do. I am my own person. I have my strengths and weaknesses just like everyone else in the world.

• I love my husband. He and I are perfectly matched. I couldn't be happier. 
• I don't have kids and I'm not pregnant. I have the ability to get up and go whenever I feel like it. I am responsible for ME. Nobody else relies on me for care... unless you count my husband. Ha! And the animals are always cared for. 
• I can take trips whenever I please. Again... I have the freedom to do as I choose when I choose without having to think about babysitters or child friendly activities. 
• I rent an apartment. I don't have to worry about roofs leaking, water heaters going bad, mowing the grass, shoveling the drive, plumbing issues, electrical issues... I live stress free because maintenance is a phone call away. I ask for new floors in the bathroom, they do it. I ask for a carpet shampoo, they do it. All free of charge. And moving in the future? I don't have to put a house on the market and wait for it to sell. We can just get up and go.
• I am working on my Bachelor's Degree right now. And by God I WILL finish it this time. I like UIS. Especially the price tag. 
• I am fat. But again, I am working on that. I have made incredible progress since working with Linda and will only continue to do so. I have lost weight this year so far and I promise you that once the weather is nicer I'll do even better because I can get outside. 

My life is mine and mine alone. I am happy with who I am and who I have chosen to spend my life with. My friends and family are all amazing and I am happy for the success they have. However, their success does not make my life any less valuable. It does not make me any less worthy of having what I want in life. I always have this self doubt of "Should I want kids?" No, if I don't... then I don't. If I do... then I do. It isn't a matter of "Well, that person has this so should I? Should I want that? Should I do that?" It is a matter of

"What makes ME happy?" 

Short Post

Good morning blogger world!! It is a fucking cold beautiful day!We are buried in snow and ice and Andrew and I have ventured out into the wilderness today. We both had a snow day yesterday. Work was closed down and Andrew didn't have class. He did plan on going to his tuning but they called and told him not to come. So, we enjoyed a spectacularly lazy day playing with the dogs, snuggling the cats and watching Downton Abbey. I have seen the first two seasons but Andrew hasn't seen any of them so I'm watching it with him and then will pick up where I left off. I'm glad he likes the show. It is something we can enjoy together.
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Foodie Food:
Yesterday, unfortunately, was full of comfort foods that I didn't really need. I only drank one juice even though I had plenty made up in the fridge. I won't allow myself to feel any disappointment or guilt though because one day out of a week is not the end of the world. I have realized that noodles are a no-no food for me when cooked in large quantities. I can continue to enjoy my whole wheat pasta but only if I cook up 4 oz at a time. 1 cup for me, 1 cup for Andrew. I made the entire box of noodles last night and ate far more than I should have and instantly felt gross afterwards. It definitely wasn't fun but I now know what I need to do to not have that same situation again.

Today's Menu:
B: Overnight Pumpkin Pie Oatmeal, Earl Grey Tea

(So good and extremely filling)
S: Clementines
L: Smart Ones Ravioli, Apple
S: Go-to-Green juice
D: TBD
Activity: Nada - Chamber Orchestra tonight

On orchestra nights Andrew and I eat somewhere quick. We usually do McDonald's or Subway. Depending on our moods this evening will determine where we go. As of right now I think Subway sounds good.
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Other Things:
I don't have much else to talk about. I'm cold, I'm tired, I'm frumpy.... and I blame the frumpy on the cold and gloomy weather. I do what I can to keep my spirits up when it is cold like this but it is hard. I miss enjoyable weather. I know that if I would be a good girl and exercise more I'd be a little less frumpy but motivation is non-existent at the moment. My favorite thing is running outside. I can get motivated and excited for that. When the weather is like this though there is nothing to get excited for. I cannot go out in this. I'd hurt myself badly.
Winter, my friend, you suck and can go away any time now.

Calm Before the Storm

Winter is coming. 

Twelve hours of winter crap.

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Foodie Food:

I went to the store last night after Andrew went to class because I wanted to pick up a few things that I couldn't get at Aldi. I ended up finding these wonderful gems!

Already cubed tofu?!? Yes plesae! Honestly, the reason I bought them is because they were half off if I bought two of them. Being cubed already was just an added bonus! I ♥ tofu. Especially in stir fry. Yum!

I'm going to be 100% honest with you guys now about juicing. You ready? 

You all know I love it. You all know I love how I feel when I do it. I have felt amazing, I've been eating less, I've had less cravings... but I am starting to get tired of the consistency of the juice. I have no idea how people go 30, 60, 90, or MORE days of JUST JUICE. It would kill me. I've cut back to 2-3 juices a day and will probably continue to do that from now on. I told Andrew I might even cut back to a couple of times a week in the future. I'm not completely burnt out, I'm just wanting to incorporate it more into my daily nutrition in a more appealing way. I have two planned for today and Andrew has two as well. I made up quite a few last night. 

Since I have a TON of green apples (for juice) I decided to use them for something else. Not all of them mind you, just six of them. 

I made apple crisp! The topping has oatmeal in it and it is yummy. I had a tiny little bit this morning to try it since it wasn't done until almost 11:00 last night and I wasn't going to eat that right before bed. The entire apartment smelled amazing while it was cooking. I love that cinnamon apple smell. I wish you could smell it through the computer.

Today's Menu:

B: Asiago Bagel with smoked salmon, coffee, a couple bites of apple crisp

S: Nada, big breakfast!

L: Tuna made with hummus, pickles, cucumber, celery, kosher salt on saltine crackers, green apple juice

S: Clementines, little green juice

D: TBD

I'm not sure what I'm doing for dinner tonight. Since I had salmon for breakfast and am having tuna for lunch I don't really want fish for dinner! I might make up some of the tofu with some leftover rice. 

I did not end up doing my workout DVD last night because after getting home from the store and making up juice for the next couple of days I got a random bug up my ass and all I wanted to do was clean. Clean everything. I moved stuff off the kitchen counters and scrubbed them, I scrubbed the sink, the stove, then I went into the bathroom and scrubbed those counters, the sink, the mirror, the toilet.... then I vacuumed.... then I  made up my lunch for today... then I decided to make apple crisp... by the time I got ready for bed I was a hot, sweaty mess. I got a good workout from deep cleaning! 

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Winter is coming

I Have Wonderful Ideas

... but I stink at execution. Anyone else like that? As I was writing in my food journal last night I noted that I always have the best ideas, the best intentions, crazy determination, but then about 3 days into something I lose all of my oomph that I had for that original idea and I'm back to square one of "What do I do?" I'm not going to go into great detail of anything, it is just one of those things I am realizing about myself that I want to talk to Linda about. Why does my determination fly out the window and why am I unable to complete the things I set out to do?
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Juicing & Foodie Food:
Friday night after work Andrew and I went to Aldi to stock up on produce for juicing this week. Again, the plan was for me to have 4 juices a day and Andrew to have 3 juices a day. Aldi didn't have everything we needed so we stopped by Shop'N'Save to get kale, ginger and spinach. I'm pretty sure Aldi has spinach but I forgot to grab it while we were there.
Total for all of that produce: $77.57
Total per day: $11.08
Total per juice: $1.58
See how cheap that is? To make seven juices a day it breaks down to $11.08 total. You can barely get one meal for that unless you go to a fast food place and get a bunch of processed, greasy, garbage.
And no, I'm not acting as though I'm better than you because I juice. I have my fast food moments. I have those moments when I want nothing but a big pile of french fries and a nice, unhealthy, greasy, fish sandwich. (I'm thinking McDonald's here...) I just realize that I can be putting so much healthier things into my body for a lot less money. And spending less money = happy Becky and a happy husband.

 Produce Haul:

The makings of a mean green and two carrot apple ginger juices:

Look at all that yummy-ness! I absolutely love the mean green. Having that one in the morning to start off my day is wonderful. Andrew really liked the carrot apple ginger. 

Today's Menu:

B: Mean green, coffee

S: 2 HB eggs

L: Tuna salad made with hummus, pickles, celery, roasted garlic and kosher salt, saltine crackers and a carrot apple ginger juice

S: 3 Clementines

D: Green Apple Juice, tilapia, quinoa, cauliflower

Activity: Biggest Loser Power Walk DVD

The weather still sucks. We have a layer of ice covered by a couple of inches of snow and no matter where you walk you fear slipping and falling. I cannot run outside. Even YakTrax do not help with traction. I wore them out the other night when Andrew and I went to dinner and still almost fell. Not cool! So, I am going to do the Power Walk DVD I have because it basically gets you prepared to walk a Marathon if you do it for so many weeks. Andrew still isn't all that convinced about joining a gym again so I am going to make do with what I have at home. 

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It is COLD

I bet you guys didn't know that. 

Caesar and Walter trying to stay warm. Shih-tzu party!

Neither one of them wanted to go outside to go potty yesterday and I don't blame them. We basically had to force them out. Caesar stayed wrapped in blankets most of the day. I did my studying/homework in the bedroom under piles of blankets. Funny thing about that is while reading my Economics lectures I fell asleep and took a marvelous 2 hour nap. Thanks, economics! 

I really didn't pay any attention to the Super Bowl. All I know is that the game wasn't all that exciting and people were disappointed. I really wanted the Broncos to win because of Manning; but apparently that didn't happen. I did take a break from homework to watch the half time show and even though I am indifferent about Bruno Mars I was entertained by the show. I actually thought that it was really well done. Kudos to him and the RHCP for putting on a decent show and actually entertaining me! One of the best half time performances I have seen in awhile. 

What did you all think of the half time show?